Advent 2025 E16 - Oh Yeah...It's Your Birthday...

A micro-dose of smart-ass notes to listen while it snows.

December 16th. We have to redirect. To our breakfast brunch listeners,

we have a little surprise.

Very special guest. Very special guest who just pointed out without pointing

out how unprofessional our setup is.

We have in studio one Mr. Chad Bacon Burton. Yay!

Say hello in your very masculine voice that we just...

Yeah, look at that. Look at how low. You see how low he gets? Wow.

Amazing. We apologize. For what? Mr.

Burton has brought over a whole host of sound things, including his guitar, that he cannot use.

Can't use it. He can, but it'll sound like shit on our amateur-ass Facebook.

I mean, this is a mid-level podcast setup.

I just think we just learned it's amateur setup. Very mid.

It's bullshit, Jerry We're going to have to give him a very nice Christmas gift

But actually, speaking of Christmas Well, let's talk about Christmas But Chad,

you neglected to tell us What do you have in your own home?

I just have a studio set up So we could legit be recording there I just happen

to have Can you lug over all of your studio equipment to our tiny basement?

To come to this tiny basement? It's in the car.

No, it's just like... So, but since we have Chad here, Chad actually happens

to have something very in common with us, unlike our recording system.

Chad has a birthday close to Christmas just like myself. Yeah. Which is kind of shitty.

One, it's a winter birthday, so, like, that kind of sucks because you can't

do jack shit half the time.

Also, a lot of relatives fuck you on the single gift thing. Winter birthday.

December 16th. Oh, okay. Oh, man.

What about you? 21st. Ooh, you're really. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah.

Right next to Christmas. You're right up. It's pretty rough.

It really is. Well, I mean, my parents were good because they didn't,

they very well respected like birthday, Christmas gifts. Like they didn't sheep

out. They made a separation.

They made a separation or like they combined the value of the gifts rather than

like two smaller ones, like double it up into one really good one. So you had good parents.

Yes. Yeah, the scramble parents were pretty good. They, although I did have

relatives that... Did you keep an accounting spreadsheet of which gifts were

which and how much money they spent? I think Chad knows this.

When you have a birthday close to Christmas, you don't need a spreadsheet.

That shit sticks in your memory forever. It does.

It does. So do you find that people just...

Didn't acknowledge your birthday at all or just gave you one gift?

I always felt like it was like the, so my parents were like a lot like Josh's

parents where they like made sure that it was a special thing because they knew

I was going to make fun of it either way.

Like I was going to be like, oh, well, I always get screwed.

It's just a, you know, it's just a Nintendo and 30 games, you know,

like, you know, are you going to give me the 30 games? What are you going to

give me for Christmas now? Right.

You know. 30 games wasn't enough. Yeah, exactly.

Pretty ungrateful, I guess. So, yeah, our parents were good about it,

but with your relatives outside of your house that you don't have to live with

365 days a year, it's like you're Jesus's brother Fredo.

Jesus had a brother Fredo? I didn't know that either. If he did. Alfredo.

Really creamy texture. Not a lot of people know that.

No, but everyone is there to see, like, oh, it's Christmas, and then everyone remembers, oh, yeah.

Oh, it's your birthday, too. Well, this will be for your birthday.

Well, you know what you could do?

Like a lot of people here in Miller, you could just change your fucking birthday to whenever you want.

I was thinking a lot darker than you were. What, I could die in April and have

everyone celebrate my death?

Well, if you come back to life, you'll be celebrated forever.

You could make it a January 10th birthday for your December birthday. I don't know.

January is almost like after Christmas probably has to be worse. Right.

Cause we, so I've talked with this about with Jerry before, like I,

one year in the summer, I'm not going to make a big extravaganza, but I'm going to be like.

My close peeps, I'm celebrating this year in summer so I could just do outdoors.

I'm going to make fun of you for that.

I make fun of you already all day long. So you're just going to change your birthday?

Yeah. Just move it six months. That's the only lucky thing I had is I was born in August.

It could be your mid-year birthday or whatever. I was born in August,

so I get to have a nice summer party. Well, you know, fucking children.

You want to have a summer party. Always like, oh, I'm 14 and a half.

No, you're just. Oh, so it could be your half birthday.

Oh, yeah. Perfect. Wow. So both of you had good parents because if I had been

born within 30 days of Christmas, I would have got nothing for my birthday at all.

Or like one of those balsa wood airplanes.

You already got the balsa wood Tyrannosaurus Rex or whatever. Oh, yeah.

I would get those every from my aunt Peg would give me those dinosaurs.

Even when I was like 15, I don't want a balsa wood dinosaur model like that's

for a child. You want 30 Nintendo games.

Yeah. Yeah. Apparently Chad had the house because, I mean, on my Nintendo,

I never had more than like a dozen. Yeah, I don't know. I know.

This is such white people shit. I never had more than 12 Nintendo games.

My grandma had to shake down some poor guy at service merchandise to get my

brother one of those Nintendos.

Is this racist, Pancake Grandma?

No, they didn't let black people work at service merchandise back then.

What? That's not true. She loved that store because, so, like, you went there.

Does your studio have editing? No, I'll take that out.

It does, we just don't do it. I'll take that out. No, she would go to that store

because you really didn't have to deal with the people that were helping you.

Well, it was service merchandise. So you would go, you would pay,

and then they would send the Nintendo or whatever out on a conveyor belt.

Oh, I forgot about that. And then you would just take it, and you'd be like,

oh, wow. It was like Amazon before Amazon.

Like, yeah, don't deal with it. Just pick it out in the catalog. Way worse.

Yeah. You call them up and then they, or you just go there and give them your,

your shit is a hash or whatever.

Lay away. I don't know how they pay. Is this the one in the mall?

These were separate. These were like, uh, the mall. We did. Yeah.

Like in the century. It was kind of as the size of a Sears. Yeah.

Kind of the size of a Sears or a JC Penny.

I feel like it was over by where. white people were

allowed to work there like in that area but there was one over

there that right yeah but at first it was at the mall i think

and then oh and then it moved and then it moved that's probably right

i think my grandma had to go to river did you have to be a member because i

was not a member i don't think so you could just i remember the catalog though

that was great that big service merchandise catalog used to be able to beat

someone to death the sears catalog was So it's like five Sunday Chicago Tribunes,

but they had a huge advantage when that whole,

cabbage patch situation broke out. Because they didn't have to deal with the fights?

Because all this shit was in the back. Yeah, you couldn't get to it.

So they were like, yeah, I want the cabbage patch. And they'd be like, no. Take a number.

And they're selling them probably out of the back, making, yeah.

I had a cabbage patch kid when I was a kid. You did? I did.

I don't know why. I thought we all went silent on that.

I don't know why, but I. We went silent because of our shocked face emojis. Cut his mic. Cut his mic.

Somehow my childhood. What was its name? Do you remember? I know you do. I do not remember.

I just do. Well, you'll have to pull out the birth certificate. Yeah.

Yeah. You kept the birth certificate, right? I'm sure you know when its birthday was.

Wouldn't it be something if it was named Bacon?

Bacon Junior. I think for some reason.

My brain connected it to be some kind of electronic toy because it was made by Coleco.

Oh, I didn't know that. What? Yeah. The Cabbage Patch Kids. They were made by Coleco.

And then when my sister got one and I was like, this doesn't do anything.

I thought they were made by the guy who grew them in the Cabbage Patch.

Whatever that guy was. They were made by the Cabbage Patch parents fucking.

And then the Cabbage Patch Kids comes out. No, they just grew them in a Cabbage Patch. Hello?

Hello? Well. That's not how babies are made. You can't grow them.

Anyway, on that note, we're going to have Jerry read his history and figure that out.

But if you happen to have children or know of children that are born close to

Christmas, give them two gifts.

Don't be a dick. Yeah, not some balsa plane or dinosaur either.

Don't give them a ColecoVision cabbage bag. A huge Miller Morning Madhouse thank

you to Chad Burton for dropping in studio and spending some time with us as

well as adding to the Advent calendar.

Please make sure to check out Chad playing in the region often,

both solo with his wife Nicole Garza and with the Ramos Band,

often playing at the Hard Rock Casino and other locations.

You can see Chad this Friday, December 19th at the Isaac Walton League Miller

Chapter for the Jingle and Mingle Adult Christmas Party starting at 6pm. Chad goes on at 7.30pm.