Miller Morning Madhouse S1E7: In the Dog House...

Elizabeth Benedict: 00:18

All you guys do

Elizabeth Benedict: 00:18

is just

Elizabeth Benedict: 00:19

sit up there and talk about how fucking cool you are.

Josh Scramble: 00:23

WSBR Super Beach Radio. In a mowing madhouse. Talking all that crazy energized, pancake and the scramble. Audio breakfast with your favorite guys.

Josh Scramble: 00:53

Welcome back to the Miller Mottee Mad House, everyone out there in the brunch bunch. Today, on episode 8, we are joined again by our newest contributor, Elizabeth Benedict, as we talk about the early days of the Internet, good deeds gone very wrong, and why all of the guinea pigs freeze up whenever Jerry is around.

Josh Scramble: 01:09

As usual, we would like to thank our sponsor, so cool shirts.com, the place to go if you wanna be vocal and dress local with hundreds of unique items and designs. There's always something to be found that'll fit your body and your personality. Sit back,

Josh Scramble: 01:22

relax, and enjoy the laughs.

Jerry Pancake: 01:30

No. It's You were living a good life in 98, I bet.

Josh Scramble: 01:34

I was 16.

Jerry Pancake: 01:36

Oh, man. You were and so did you have the Internet at 16? That was one

Josh Scramble: 01:42

of the things that I talked.

Elizabeth Benedict: 01:44

Internet 5.

Josh Scramble: 01:45

Internet. Young people. Boop. Yeah. America Online kinda was, like, my 5th Oh, baby.

Josh Scramble: 01:52

6th grade. Oh, yeah. Hey. I got 30 hours free off that CD. Calm down.

Elizabeth Benedict: 01:57

I I had it too. I loved it.

Jerry Pancake: 02:00

Yeah. The sound of that. And then those those chat rooms, though.

Josh Scramble: 02:09

You've got mail.

Jerry Pancake: 02:10

So I was probably on there, like because I'm older than Josh Scramble. So I was probably on there at the same time, and it it Hang on a minute. Kinda haunts me Jerry Creeper? It kinda haunts me to think that we were probably looking at the same porn that was coming across, and it took a long time to get just one picture.

Josh Scramble: 02:29

Oh, yeah. Because it was, like, you would take 10 minutes for the line to go across. Like, it was a a minute and a half before it reached, like, top of the mountain in your bowl. You for?

Jerry Pancake: 02:37

But it's like time travel. Right? Like, because I was the in the same place as you, but you were just You were also in

Josh Scramble: 02:44

the same

Josh Scramble: 02:45

place as

Elizabeth Benedict: 02:45

me, and I was 9.

Jerry Pancake: 02:47

Oh, dear lord. But you were not probably in the No. In, like, whatever obviously. Whatever chat I was in, like, Big Naturals

Josh Scramble: 02:54

looking in the

Jerry Pancake: 02:54

same place

Josh Scramble: 02:55

as you. Wow. You were talking to other wow. Okay.

Jerry Pancake: 02:58

The like, the admirers of big naturals.

Josh Scramble: 03:00

Remember Sydney Margolis. Like, she was, like, the first, like, Internet woman sensation. Like, she was the most downloaded woman at one point. And she was just like she was a good looking woman, but she was just, like, random blonde.

Jerry Pancake: 03:12

She is very natural looking.

Josh Scramble: 03:15

Apparently, natural is the key with Jerry.

Jerry Pancake: 03:18

I don't If you've been

Josh Scramble: 03:19

to the doctor, you ain't been to me. So like, unnatural?

Jerry Pancake: 03:23

That's when Yeah. I mean, if it's done okay. But you didn't get videos, Elizabeth, and I know you're a big fan of the videos with the TikToks

Josh Scramble: 03:32

Oh, no.

Josh Scramble: 03:32

And all

Jerry Pancake: 03:33

and all the reels and

Josh Scramble: 03:34

all of doing that. But they were, like, posted to somebody. Oh my god. Yeah. It was an big.

Josh Scramble: 03:39

Have to load.

Jerry Pancake: 03:40

It was this big, and your monitor was, like

Elizabeth Benedict: 03:42

even try.

Jerry Pancake: 03:43

You you had a

Josh Scramble: 03:44

It was like You had a all you could get? It was yeah. I mean, it was up till then, it was the Sears catalog and a stolen Playboy. And then all of a sudden, like, boom.

Jerry Pancake: 03:53

It's like, oh, I could get the dudes.

Josh Scramble: 03:56

The man could

Jerry Pancake: 03:56

get the dude. And sometimes people would send you some fucked up shit, which you didn't ask for.

Elizabeth Benedict: 04:03

Good. Yeah.

Josh Scramble: 04:03

Yeah. The, No.

Elizabeth Benedict: 04:04

I understand the parental controls my parents put on. Oh,

Jerry Pancake: 04:07

they they would just unsolicited, like, unsolicited.

Elizabeth Benedict: 04:10

My parents now.

Josh Scramble: 04:11

You'd be

Jerry Pancake: 04:12

in some chat room

Josh Scramble: 04:13

and When when you've gotten mail, it became a nightmare, but you've got mail. Yeah. No.

Jerry Pancake: 04:17

No. But, like Oh,

Elizabeth Benedict: 04:18

that was good for me.

Jerry Pancake: 04:19

You'd be in the, let's say, the big naturals chat, and you're thinking I'm gonna get some photos of some breasts or whatever. They're talking about the whole bunch of big black dick would just come up, and, like, the guy would be like, I got you, motherfucker, or whatever. And I'm like, oh, that wasn't that funny,

Josh Scramble: 04:38

sir. Elizabeth Benedict's face right now. Like, the look of pure horror.

Jerry Pancake: 04:42

But you would have to wait to see too. That was the torture of it. Right? Like, you just No. You just know.

Jerry Pancake: 04:47

You just be like, oh,

Josh Scramble: 04:48

I'm just waiting to

Elizabeth Benedict: 04:49

I didn't I didn't use it for these purposes.

Jerry Pancake: 04:51

Oh, you'd be like, oh, this might be great.

Josh Scramble: 04:53

I wish I was doing my homework.

Jerry Pancake: 04:55

And Josh Grambles sending out big huge picture of black nicks.

Elizabeth Benedict: 04:58

To be clear, we've got 3 generations here, I think.

Josh Scramble: 05:01

Sure. Yeah. Because we're all about 10 year well, yeah, we're all about 10 years apart. Years apart, and you're 2

Elizabeth Benedict: 05:06

you 2 are within 10 years apart. And, sadly, you and I are within

Josh Scramble: 05:12

more than 10.

Elizabeth Benedict: 05:15

Don't say you're within 10.

Jerry Pancake: 05:19

Yeah. More than 10.

Josh Scramble: 05:20

So Jerry was going on for all the wrong reasons.

Elizabeth Benedict: 05:24

This is interesting.

Josh Scramble: 05:25

I was going on to just figure out what was going on, and you were still I was hang I was like it

Elizabeth Benedict: 05:31

was like a chance for me to hang out with my high school friends after high school.

Josh Scramble: 05:34

No. No. Middle school. Hang out. I was a second.

Josh Scramble: 05:36

Middle school.

Jerry Pancake: 05:37

Middle school is 9 years old. Yeah.

Elizabeth Benedict: 05:39

Because we didn't have a phone I didn't have a phone at that age.

Josh Scramble: 05:41

No one had a phone

Jerry Pancake: 05:42

at that age. You had a phone. It was a a senior at all.

Elizabeth Benedict: 05:46

Well, yes. But

Josh Scramble: 05:48

it was a way for

Elizabeth Benedict: 05:49

me to talk talk to someone without someone listening. I think it was

Jerry Pancake: 05:54

Okay. So, yeah, you when you were chatting

Josh Scramble: 05:56

I am. Yeah. Yeah.

Elizabeth Benedict: 05:57

Yeah. But, like, it was in the living room. It wasn't in my bedroom.

Josh Scramble: 06:01

So But I think yours was in your room.

Jerry Pancake: 06:05

Those were always the time those were also the times of the family computer, though.

Josh Scramble: 06:10

Oh, yeah.

Elizabeth Benedict: 06:10

You I had the family computer where it was like

Jerry Pancake: 06:14

So, like, you don't wanna get that family computer dirty. No.

Elizabeth Benedict: 06:19

You Also, anyone could walk in at any moment.

Jerry Pancake: 06:22

True. Yes. Because it's probably in the dining room.

Elizabeth Benedict: 06:25

Behind me for a lot of it. Really? Oh, sure.

Jerry Pancake: 06:28

So, like, someone would message you in a chat.

Elizabeth Benedict: 06:32

I wore kneepads when I would, like, rollerblade.

Jerry Pancake: 06:35

Oh, she was very protective. Okay. I didn't didn't know where that was going.

Elizabeth Benedict: 06:39

Speak, by the way. I loved that. The protectiveness. What you talked about or did was that a dream?

Josh Scramble: 06:46

I don't know what you're talking about.

Elizabeth Benedict: 06:48

Did you guys talk about knee pads or, like, protective parents?

Jerry Pancake: 06:53

Or

Elizabeth Benedict: 06:53

did I have a

Jerry Pancake: 06:53

dream or a cat? No. I just said that my parents may be afraid of everything.

Elizabeth Benedict: 06:57

Yes. That was it. That was it. That was it.

Josh Scramble: 06:59

Kinda different, but kind of as well. I was gonna

Jerry Pancake: 07:01

say I was related. But, also, they did not protect me from anything. So they made me they did not they would not give me kneepads. They would just be like, get the fuck out of the house, and I don't care if you climb up a tree or set shit yourself on fire.

Elizabeth Benedict: 07:15

Might die. Good luck.

Jerry Pancake: 07:16

Like, I don't care.

Josh Scramble: 07:17

Just But at the same time

Jerry Pancake: 07:18

don't, like, bother me.

Elizabeth Benedict: 07:19

She's like she's like, you might die. Good luck.

Jerry Pancake: 07:21

Yeah. Just don't bother me.

Josh Scramble: 07:23

But there's a beauty in that because you sin the herd like the dumbasses that you don't want living, like, fuck themselves up.

Elizabeth Benedict: 07:29

Yeah. You prefer for your own kids, though, to be one of them.

Jerry Pancake: 07:32

Or, like, you have something terrible happen to you because, like, they didn't

Josh Scramble: 07:35

Like, you got hit by a car or or

Jerry Pancake: 07:37

I don't know. You lose a leg somehow, like or get sucked up into a twister like Billy Naylor.

Josh Scramble: 07:42

That's you know, the slowest the slowest lion gets eaten at the Serengeti.

Jerry Pancake: 07:47

Jesus Christ.

Josh Scramble: 07:49

WSBR Super Beach Radio, the best station between Rush and Ripley. We love playing music, but right now, we have to pay some bills.

Josh Scramble: 08:08

Coming this Sunday, a special broadcast on WSPR Radio, a celebration of local legend Jerry Pancake and his cult classic comedy album, Dee's Nuts. What the does this kid want?

Josh Scramble: 08:21

Yo, man, man. How are you doing today?

Jerry Pancake: 08:24

You're the kid? Where is parents? That kid.

Josh Scramble: 08:28

We take a deep look at the album as well as Jerry's full life and career.

Jerry Pancake: 08:32

If I see this kid Jevon again, I'm coming up with the most epic D's Nuts joke. I'm gonna kill it. Oh, hey, Jevon. I also have a package for you. It's D's Nuts.

Jerry Pancake: 08:42

Delivery confirmation signature required, you little.

Josh Scramble: 08:47

Including rare discussion between broadcast a listers Howard Stern and Jimmy Kimmel.

Howard Stern: 08:51

There are much worse clips than that. There are much far there where he his annoyance is very clear, and the audience becomes very uncomfortable.

Howard Stern: 08:59

Maybe I'll have, we'll track down all of the where he's annoyed.

Josh Scramble: 09:02

That would be a

Howard Stern: 09:03

you know what? That would be a beautiful tribute to Jerry and his genius.

Jerry Pancake: 09:06

So great. It's all angry.

Howard Stern: 09:08

Oh, yeah. He was very angry.

Howard Stern: 09:10

Jerry full of disdain. Well, I'm endlessly fascinated by why psychologically Jerry was so angry, and, of course, it always goes back to your parents. You can see just exactly Jerry's torture.

Howard Stern: 09:20

Well, Jerry, I think, also genuinely was a genius. Like, you know, you're a genius applied to a lot of people, but I think his persona probably started to annoy him, and then he had to overcompensate to show people how smart he was.

Howard Stern: 09:34

And he's, you know, he's caught between I wanna be the sex I wanna be the, you know, a guy who's attractive to women, and then I wanna be the buffoon.

Howard Stern: 09:40

Yeah. Although, I think he put a buffoon aside as

Howard Stern: 09:44

for except for occasional moment. Like, Jerry was really a good guest on, Letterman. Oh, really? Yeah. It's really it's really good.

Howard Stern: 09:51

Yeah. He was something else. He I he's one of the most interesting people.

Josh Scramble: 09:55

Hear the full round table as well as a special broadcast of the album, Dee's Nuts, this Sunday at noon, Jerry Pancake, where have all the good times gone? Only on WSBR, and find Dee's Nuts wherever you get your music.

Josh Scramble: 10:21

WSBR Super Beach Radio, the number one station between Rush and Ripley.

Elizabeth Benedict: 10:27

I'm actually okay if this goes on air.

Jerry Pancake: 10:30

Okay.

Elizabeth Benedict: 10:30

So there was one of those awesome music things down at the beach.

Josh Scramble: 10:36

Mhmm. Like a DJJ.

Elizabeth Benedict: 10:38

Yeah. So I saw a dog, and he looked really lost. I didn't see a whatever. I thought I knew where he lived, so I took him up to the house where I thought I knew. So, apparently, I I I kidnapped a dog.

Elizabeth Benedict: 11:00

Jesus.

Jerry Pancake: 11:01

And you gave it to the wrong person?

Elizabeth Benedict: 11:03

Wrong house. And I opened the door and put the dog into the wrong house.

Jerry Pancake: 11:08

Oh, man. That's Jesus Christ. Wow.

Josh Scramble: 11:12

Yeah.

Jerry Pancake: 11:12

So how did those people react? They were like, what the fuck? You just talked to me

Josh Scramble: 11:17

in my house. I moved

Elizabeth Benedict: 11:18

I moved too fast. I didn't

Josh Scramble: 11:20

Like a ninja. I didn't

Elizabeth Benedict: 11:21

I didn't want them to

Jerry Pancake: 11:22

Have you ever admitted this to these people?

Elizabeth Benedict: 11:25

I'm actually trusting you with this. I'm trying

Josh Scramble: 11:27

to Yeah. We're not Yeah. We're here.

Elizabeth Benedict: 11:29

Actually, you know what? The the people don't know who I am, really.

Jerry Pancake: 11:32

No one can charge you with a crime for this. I don't think

Elizabeth Benedict: 11:35

And by the way, if

Josh Scramble: 11:36

if you're still listening know, the dog technically broke and entered.

Elizabeth Benedict: 11:40

And if you just were listening, I'm really sorry. I was trying to do a good thing.

Jerry Pancake: 11:44

Right? Get that dog home. That dog doesn't need to be out at that stupid fucking DJ party.

Josh Scramble: 11:51

I was confused.

Josh Scramble: 11:52

I was confused.

Jerry Pancake: 11:53

The dog's probably scared. Right. Fireworks going off. There's some guy or some lady with the flames. They always have the flame lady.

Jerry Pancake: 12:01

Right?

Josh Scramble: 12:02

Did it burn. Yeah.

Jerry Pancake: 12:06

They're like the guys in the microphone. Like, he's sucking the like, DJ Marshmallow.

Elizabeth Benedict: 12:13

As Mark can serve out the dog.

Jerry Pancake: 12:14

And then somebody is gonna final you out there. It's happened to me several times.

Josh Scramble: 12:19

I've been to 3 of those things those things.

Jerry Pancake: 12:22

And, like, somebody walked up. Know. And I don't know if it was a man or a woman. Tickle your jiggly bits. Yes.

Jerry Pancake: 12:28

They did touch my dick.

Elizabeth Benedict: 12:30

It didn't matter. What?

Jerry Pancake: 12:32

Couple times or balls. Like, they got they got some of it some of them. Yeah. That dog didn't wanna be at that DJ party for sure, so you did him a favor.

Josh Scramble: 12:43

Well, the thing about that DJ party was a little it was a little rough.

Jerry Pancake: 12:49

Nobody nobody understands what dogs hear too, so it could be excruciating on the dog.

Josh Scramble: 12:55

Oh, sure it is. Is. Because if they hear

Elizabeth Benedict: 12:56

loud. Yeah. He was walking around, and I I told my husband. I said, hey, I'm gonna take this dog home. He goes, do you know where it lives?

Elizabeth Benedict: 13:06

And I said, I'm pretty sure

Josh Scramble: 13:07

I do.

Jerry Pancake: 13:08

Pretty sure. Pretty sure it's not

Josh Scramble: 13:10

a 100%. He said,

Elizabeth Benedict: 13:11

what if it's not the right house? And I said, well, at least it's in a safe house. And I've Here's the thing. I love

Josh Scramble: 13:19

whoever I

Jerry Pancake: 13:20

think I just love that you

Josh Scramble: 13:21

like, their house was open and you my favorite thing about this entire story. So it's a it's a

Elizabeth Benedict: 13:27

beautiful house. I'm really sorry whoever

Josh Scramble: 13:29

It's a Saturday summer night.

Jerry Pancake: 13:31

You have a beautiful home. You have a dog.

Elizabeth Benedict: 13:33

It's a compliment. I'm I I didn't want that dog out.

Josh Scramble: 13:36

You know what? No one's that's why you lock your doors in this neighborhood so no one compliments you as a dog.

Elizabeth Benedict: 13:41

Door is open. It's like, I'll take any animal that's really worried about.

Josh Scramble: 13:44

That's what most of the that's that's like the new single site. We'll take any animal.

Elizabeth Benedict: 13:48

I'll take it.

Jerry Pancake: 13:49

That is the flamingo at, like, 1 in the morning. Any animal that wanna see.

Elizabeth Benedict: 13:54

Like, we all look out for. The

Josh Scramble: 13:56

thing I can't stop thinking about is it's a beautiful summer Saturday evening. You come home after a nice lovely day with, you know, you had a great day at the beach. You met some friends out at a nice lovely dinner. You had a nice, you know, rose with your steak. You come home and all of a sudden, like, like, what was going on?

Josh Scramble: 14:15

Why is there some random dog here? And then you walk in, like, boom. There's a dog just laying on your bed, like, hello. And then 1, you have to realize, where is this dog? And then 2, try to figure out where it belongs.

Josh Scramble: 14:28

Hopefully, it's your next door neighbor.

Elizabeth Benedict: 14:30

I would love to hear from whoever owns that dog.

Jerry Pancake: 14:33

Reach out to us, 219, at the, 29 dog find. No. It's 2 it's 2 we actually have a phone number. 219 I'm sorry. 2004280.

Jerry Pancake: 14:45

Reach out to us here. And if you still have the dog, good on you.

Josh Scramble: 14:50

Yeah. What if you have

Jerry Pancake: 14:51

the dog now, you're like,

Josh Scramble: 14:52

we're not we're not finding the original owner. Yeah. I mean

Elizabeth Benedict: 14:54

if I'm the right owner, but I would love to hear

Jerry Pancake: 14:58

The story. Yeah.

Josh Scramble: 14:58

Do you remember the house? Because I will actually go interview these people.

Elizabeth Benedict: 15:02

I do know the house.

Jerry Pancake: 15:03

On the street.

Elizabeth Benedict: 15:03

It's the

Josh Scramble: 15:04

one I will totally do this.

Elizabeth Benedict: 15:06

Time. It's like, oh, yeah. Let's do this. And then the next day, it's like

Josh Scramble: 15:10

Alcohol. That's the that's the answer to that. Alcohol.

Jerry Pancake: 15:13

So I would imagine that dog, like, if you put it in that

Josh Scramble: 15:17

He was

Jerry Pancake: 15:17

so commercial

Josh Scramble: 15:34

talking to the wrong house. You were walking down the street, and then you all those people you meet. You saw a cool fish, and then you stuck me in the house. Now I am on the loose, and I need to find the house. Boom.

Jerry Pancake: 15:46

Yeah. Like, what a better ending for that dog than just getting executed.

Elizabeth Benedict: 15:51

That's what I thought.

Josh Scramble: 15:52

Sarah McLaughlin has nothing on DJ Fuckface at the beach.

Elizabeth Benedict: 15:57

I just want it to be home safe somewhere.

Jerry Pancake: 15:59

Homesafesomewhere.com.

Josh Scramble: 16:02

Would it have been something if, like, it was a house full of cats and all of a sudden these cats are

Jerry Pancake: 16:05

Oh, yeah. The cats are You fucking flipped the fuck out.

Elizabeth Benedict: 16:08

Comment that that I did they

Josh Scramble: 16:09

put the

Elizabeth Benedict: 16:10

dog in that house. Don't

Jerry Pancake: 16:12

dog. Look like you really have a dog safe house. Thanks.

Josh Scramble: 16:16

Meanwhile

Jerry Pancake: 16:16

Yeah. Thanks for leaving your door open. Now you have some random ass dog in your house.

Josh Scramble: 16:21

This looks like a good home. Look at the mailbox. It's the Vic household. I'm sure they'll be really nice to that dog.

Elizabeth Benedict: 16:29

I don't even I'm sorry for the whoever I put that dog

Josh Scramble: 16:34

in your house. I'm so

Elizabeth Benedict: 16:36

sorry. I hope Not something

Josh Scramble: 16:38

you hear right, Jay. But I hope I hope it worked out well.

Josh Scramble: 16:42

WSPR Super Beach Radio.

Josh Scramble: 16:43

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, the Miller Beach Wrestling Federation is proud to bring you The Rumble on Rush. Live from Ponton Park, come see the greatest night in wrestling as hometown hero, Jen Pancake, takes on the Greek freak Gina Papadopoulos for the MBWF women's title in an I Quit match. See what Holt will win. Jen's curtain call clutch versus Gina Saganaki sleeper. And the action is all up and down the card as Jose T will be defending the little person's title against 29 others in the small battle royal.

Josh Scramble: 17:18

Small fry Sam, little Leopold, Oompa Woopa Larry, and all your other little favors will be vying for the small person crowd. And not to be missed, the 5th best athlete in Miller, Derek D, will be taking on all comers in a no disqualification with football bat match. It's going to be nothing but yellow bats and minor abrasions. You can't get more action in 1 yard? Can't make it live?

Josh Scramble: 17:41

Find a live broadcast for $499.99 on Gauge as you view pay per view. Can you dig it, sucker? WSBR Super Beach Radio.

Elizabeth Benedict: 17:55

Did you have fish tanks growing up?

Jerry Pancake: 17:57

Yeah. I did.

Elizabeth Benedict: 17:58

And? I

Jerry Pancake: 17:59

liked them. They're fine. Just something else to do because we didn't have fucking computers like you kids.

Elizabeth Benedict: 18:06

What about furry animals?

Jerry Pancake: 18:09

I don't even wanna go into this. But

Elizabeth Benedict: 18:11

Next week?

Jerry Pancake: 18:12

No. We so our parents, wouldn't let us have any animals, because well, guinea pigs. So they let us have have the guinea pigs, and then my brother and I played catch with 1 of the guinea pigs. Jesus. What the fuck?

Jerry Pancake: 18:28

Died.

Josh Scramble: 18:29

Yesterday.

Jerry Pancake: 18:31

Yeah. Like, we put it down the slide. We were, like, playing with it. Because we really needed, like, a dog, like a durable dog. Like a durable like, a big dog that's durable.

Jerry Pancake: 18:42

My brother and I were, like, some ragamuffin 3 rascals kinda shit, and we needed, like, a, like, a dog. But my fucking mom got us guinea pigs, and then there's this little tiny delicate things that we're fucking playing catch with them because we're, you know, 4 and 2.

Elizabeth Benedict: 18:59

Worse too.

Jerry Pancake: 19:00

Well, I mean, we didn't know. And so the guinea pig died, and then we weren't allowed after that to have any pets, at all.

Josh Scramble: 19:11

Think that your parents really wouldn't let you have pets

Elizabeth Benedict: 19:14

so bad.

Josh Scramble: 19:14

Or do you think the guinea pig was, like, a trial pet, and you fucked that up. So they're like, dude,

Jerry Pancake: 19:20

get us a like, a rottweiler or some shit. That's what we needed, like a tough dog.

Elizabeth Benedict: 19:24

Sorry. No. I think they figured out real quick that you can't have animals. So Because you're playing catch with guinea pigs.

Josh Scramble: 19:31

So I thought Like, a ball

Elizabeth Benedict: 19:34

playing catch with a ball was

Jerry Pancake: 19:35

one thing. Put it down the slide.

Elizabeth Benedict: 19:38

That's that's a dog.

Josh Scramble: 19:39

But it wasn't a summer day when you put it down, like, the scorching hot slide?

Jerry Pancake: 19:42

Yes. That was. And then

Josh Scramble: 19:44

So I thought you were gonna say that your parents were gonna allow you to have one because they didn't want it. Like, my parents, we never had pets. My first pet, I was, like, 20 something because my dad never wanted us to have to deal with it dying.

Jerry Pancake: 19:57

Oh, well, that would be a sweet

Josh Scramble: 19:58

thing. Here's

Jerry Pancake: 20:00

To protect you from, but

Josh Scramble: 20:01

No. It's also inside story. He didn't wanna have to get attached to it and also wanna have to deal with it dying. So

Jerry Pancake: 20:07

We know there's emotional problems.

Josh Scramble: 20:09

But, like, I was gonna ask that question, but I think your parents realized we have fuck up kids that are gonna use a goddamn living thing as a goddamn football.

Jerry Pancake: 20:16

Anyway, because of this, we, we would round up all the stray cats

Josh Scramble: 20:23

Oh, it was.

Jerry Pancake: 20:25

In the neighborhood, and we would put them on leashes and then, like, Jesus Christ, and, like, chain them up to a, like, a box or a tree or whatever. You wiped the cherry on

Josh Scramble: 20:39

the cats?

Jerry Pancake: 20:40

So they wouldn't leave us, because we liked like, we had a

Elizabeth Benedict: 20:44

so much.

Jerry Pancake: 20:46

We didn't want him to leave, and our mother said, oh, I'm definitely cactus. I'm definitely allergic to cats, so you can't have cats in the house. So we wouldn't want them to leave, so we tie them up in the garage.

Josh Scramble: 20:57

Jerry, I'm never letting you in my house again because I have cats, and I don't want them We have

Jerry Pancake: 21:02

great cats. I don't I didn't kill the cats. No. But We fed them and shit. What?

Josh Scramble: 21:07

Your name wasn't curiosity, was it? Because

Jerry Pancake: 21:10

we fed the cats and stuff. Like, there was a

Josh Scramble: 21:13

It's just the gerbils you had issues with.

Elizabeth Benedict: 21:15

So growing up growing up with the cats There's

Josh Scramble: 21:19

so much in this. Like, I There's

Elizabeth Benedict: 21:21

so much. There's so much.

Josh Scramble: 21:24

I know. There's some there's a lot in this.

Jerry Pancake: 21:27

So there's a lot in in me.

Josh Scramble: 21:29

What age I have to at what age was the was it a hamster or a gerbil?

Jerry Pancake: 21:33

It was a guinea pig. Oh, sorry. Guinea pig.

Josh Scramble: 21:36

3rd one.

Jerry Pancake: 21:37

So

Elizabeth Benedict: 21:37

Those are bigger.

Jerry Pancake: 21:38

They're bigger.

Josh Scramble: 21:39

Which is probably why they used it as a football because they could palm it. Like, you know, like, the the spine was kinda like the laces.

Jerry Pancake: 21:45

It was a it's a it's a terrible memory, man. Like, I can remember when it bled from its nose.

Elizabeth Benedict: 21:50

And what

Josh Scramble: 21:51

made you do this again? Hang on. It bled from its nose. So what? Did your brother not catch it?

Josh Scramble: 21:55

Oh

Elizabeth Benedict: 21:55

my god.

Jerry Pancake: 21:56

You might have dropped it.

Elizabeth Benedict: 21:57

Oh, could dude, you and why wait.

Josh Scramble: 21:59

Why did

Elizabeth Benedict: 22:00

we So

Josh Scramble: 22:00

you had a Chicago Bears receiver brother who dropped her fucking guinea pig.

Elizabeth Benedict: 22:04

Oh, okay. So wait. You're playing catch with it?

Josh Scramble: 22:06

Yeah.

Elizabeth Benedict: 22:07

Why again?

Jerry Pancake: 22:08

You're 4 into like, that's what you do.

Josh Scramble: 22:13

It's demented.

Elizabeth Benedict: 22:14

Maybe animals?

Jerry Pancake: 22:15

I mean, we didn't have a lot of toys. We didn't have the Internet. Like, you fucks.

Josh Scramble: 22:19

So am I making the only connection here that

Jerry Pancake: 22:22

hang on. So We had a football somewhere, but we maybe it was over the fence.

Elizabeth Benedict: 22:26

Play catch with an animal. Here.

Josh Scramble: 22:27

So I

Jerry Pancake: 22:28

think maybe that we thought the animal

Elizabeth Benedict: 22:31

No. You didn't.

Josh Scramble: 22:31

Well, let's let's really examine the Pancake family line. Happening here. Your father knew several serial killers, and that's usually a trait of them as they torture small animals. So did he possibly meet a 3rd and 4th serial killer? I think Jerry's dad is just really possibly meet a 3rd and 4th serial killer?

Josh Scramble: 22:42

I

Elizabeth Benedict: 22:43

think Jerry's dad

Josh Scramble: 22:44

is just really understanding. So, like, I haven't started

Josh Scramble: 22:44

killing yet.

Elizabeth Benedict: 22:44

Yet. Like

Jerry Pancake: 22:45

Yet. Maybe it's just the next career for me. But

Josh Scramble: 22:56

Well, you do.

Jerry Pancake: 22:57

I don't have three names in the that What is

Josh Scramble: 23:00

sort of a

Jerry Pancake: 23:00

middle name. George

Josh Scramble: 23:02

Cherry George Pancake. Yeah. No. That's not a that's not a serial killer. Like, your name would have to be, like

Jerry Pancake: 23:08

It has to be 2 first like, real first names.

Josh Scramble: 23:11

It would have to be, like, Jerry Sullivan pancake because it's always a weird middle of,

Jerry Pancake: 23:16

like, John Wilkes Booth. John Wilkes Booth. God, what a what the fuck was that guy's life like? Like, just like

Josh Scramble: 23:26

How fucked up are you when, like, there's no news and you decide, I'm gonna go kill the president of the United States or anything like that?

Jerry Pancake: 23:33

Too, Josh Scramble. I don't know if you realize that.

Josh Scramble: 23:35

Because he jumped up. He was exploding Shakespeare when he killed him. Like he

Jerry Pancake: 23:40

was acting in the community theater

Josh Scramble: 23:43

or whatever.

Jerry Pancake: 23:43

Speaker 1 (1h

Josh Scramble: 23:43

45m 20s): Marty. Here comes a John Wilkes.

Jerry Pancake: 23:49

Could you imagine if, like, someone I'm not saying anyone would do this from the Miller Community Theater. And by the way, shout out to the Miller Community Theater. Please visit them as well as at the, Marshall J Gardner Center.

Josh Scramble: 24:03

Well, I don't see Steven going full presidential assassination.

Jerry Pancake: 24:07

But just think about it. Like, if someone was like, I'm a thespian, and I've done 2 plays at the Miller Community Theater, and I'm gonna go kill Joe Biden. Like, that is what John John Wilkes Booth is. It's like he he was like, I'm going for it all. I might not make it as an actor, but I'm gonna kill the fucking president.

Jerry Pancake: 24:30

And I would argue he's just as famous as Abraham Lincoln. You ever seen my 8th grade picture?

Elizabeth Benedict: 24:38

No. Have you seen

Jerry Pancake: 24:38

my black I'm a black fella in that picture.

Josh Scramble: 24:42

Are you, like You

Elizabeth Benedict: 24:42

mean you're a dark complexion?

Josh Scramble: 24:44

So did you use No.

Jerry Pancake: 24:45

I have a Afro. I am full on. I will show it

Josh Scramble: 24:49

to you. Like Art Garfunkelfro?

Jerry Pancake: 24:51

It was a Jufro kind of. Ju Jufro.

Josh Scramble: 24:54

Jufro.

Jerry Pancake: 24:55

Yeah. It was very tight. And so my mother did my hair at the time, and I contend to this day that she gave me a perm right, but like, right before picture day because

Josh Scramble: 25:09

my hair doesn't last this long.

Jerry Pancake: 25:10

Hair was like this.

Elizabeth Benedict: 25:12

It doesn't last this long.

Josh Scramble: 25:13

All the time. I got $20 saying he got the perm because he threw the guinea pig.

Jerry Pancake: 25:19

That was years later. But my mom probably never forgave me for that. Right? She was like, oh, that kid is a serial

Elizabeth Benedict: 25:26

forgave you for that.

Jerry Pancake: 25:27

Well, he's dead. So

Elizabeth Benedict: 25:29

Still, he's still haunting your dream.

Jerry Pancake: 25:31

But then my grandmother got us a rabbit after that.

Josh Scramble: 25:34

Be something like you know how everyone has those mysterious noises in their house? Like, wouldn't it be something if it was the ghost of the guinea pig?

Elizabeth Benedict: 25:41

That's so real, though.

Jerry Pancake: 25:44

It could be. It could happen here. There's so many things that scare me.

Josh Scramble: 25:50

You know, wouldn't be surprised if it animals.

Elizabeth Benedict: 25:53

I've never abused animals.

Jerry Pancake: 25:54

Didn't. It was I was a child.

Elizabeth Benedict: 25:56

So was I. I've never abused animals. Alright.

Josh Scramble: 25:59

Not to

Elizabeth Benedict: 25:59

make you feel bad, but

Josh Scramble: 26:00

Judgey. You should feel bad.

Elizabeth Benedict: 26:01

I'm gonna make you feel bad.

Jerry Pancake: 26:03

Judge Benedict over here.

Josh Scramble: 26:05

Well well, by by her namesake, she does play both sides. Thanks again, everyone, for listening, and remember

Josh Scramble: 26:12

to add this show to your favorites. New episodes drop every other week and are available wherever you get your pods.

Josh Scramble: 26:17

And also feel free

Josh Scramble: 26:17

to review us on your listening platform.

Josh Scramble: 26:20

And also remember to shop at socoolshirts.com, the place to be vocal and shop local.

Elizabeth Benedict: 26:27

All you guys do is just sit up there and talk about how fucking cool you are.

Josh Scramble: 26:32

WSBR Super Beach rig. In the morning madhouse. Talking all that crazy energized, pancake and a scramble. Audio breakfast with your favorite eyes.