Miller Morning Madhouse: S1E9: Everything Sucks Now...
All you guys do is just sit up there and talk about how fucking cool you are.
Josh Scramble:WSBR Super Beach Radio, the best station between Rush and Ridley.
Jen Pancake:Somehow less rage y today. Even though I know I seem rage y most of the time.
Josh Scramble:Rage y against the machine?
Jen Pancake:Rage y against the machine. Always killing the name up. Like today, for example, I had two students, a fourth and fifth grader, and they didn't know how many brothers and sisters they had because they have
Jerry Pancake:so much We have situations.
Josh Scramble:Is it because, like, they're out of the household?
Jen Pancake:I don't know. I didn't I I mean, what are you what follow-up questions do you
Jerry Pancake:What's up, my fellow burned out humans? We're back from our extended hiatus, partly due to sickness, partly due to being absolutely sick of this bullshit. But don't worry. We've returned just in time to tell you exactly why everything sucks now. Travel, a nightmare.
Jerry Pancake:Movies, unwatchable. Pop culture, a flaming dumpster fire. In the White House, it's a Tesla dealership now. Great news if you've got an extra 80 k laying around. Terrible news if you were hoping for any kind of functional leadership.
Jerry Pancake:But before we spiral too far down the drain, let's give a huge shout out to our sponsors. So coolshirts.com. If the world's going to hell, you might as well look good on the way down. Grab a T shirt, hoodie, or hat, and let people know you're over it in style. The Miller Community Theater.
Jerry Pancake:Tickets are on sale now for their spring musical, the twenty fifth annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, hitting the stage this April at the Marshall j Gardner Center. It's hilarious. It's heartfelt, and it's one of the few things in life that doesn't suck. Check out the show notes for ticket links. And finally, I'll ingest trivia with Josh scramble coming up on Friday, March 28 at the Marshall j Gardner Center.
Jerry Pancake:Get ready for a night of trivia drinks and Josh scrambles questionable game show host skills. Will you win? Will you lose? Will you accidentally order a Tesla from the White House? Only one way to find out.
Jerry Pancake:Welcome back to the Miller Morning Madhouse. It's your two favorite idiots, myself, Jerry Pancake. And your boy, Josh Gramble. Bringing you the only morning show that gets worse with age. And we have some apologies to make since we have missed quite a bit of time.
Jerry Pancake:Josh Scramble told me the other day, almost two months since we've recorded.
Josh Scramble:It has been quite a while.
Jen Pancake:Two months in blink of an eye.
Jerry Pancake:And we also have my lovely wife here, Jenny pancake
Jen Pancake:from
Jerry Pancake:In the
Jen Pancake:blink of a nightmare.
Jerry Pancake:In the blink of a nightmare. We are we are we are back. We also have Jenny pancake here.
Jen Pancake:Hi everyone.
Jerry Pancake:And she is ready to do some funny things today, I guess. I don't know.
Jen Pancake:Maybe.
Jerry Pancake:But here has what has been happening. We, I got COVID for Christmas from, I'm I think the Flamingo, which, you know, people say that Wuhan, like, was where COVID started, but I have other theories because
Jen Pancake:It wasn't the Flamingo, it was the side streets.
Jerry Pancake:It was someone that was at Flamingo. I'm not they're not pumping it into the air. But I also I've gotten sick almost every time I've gone there. And I think the last time I got airborne AIDS, which luckily they have like a a good
Jen Pancake:Jabs.
Jerry Pancake:Jabs for that. Got seven jabs, right before we went to Arizona. So we've been traveling as well. And I got them all in one arm. The nurse or you just get shots from the pharmacist now.
Josh Scramble:Think it's just the cashier.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. Like they
Josh Scramble:It's a cashier and scrubs.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. They like have this cubicle they can set up in, like, five seconds.
Josh Scramble:Oh, when I
Jerry Pancake:In the Walgreens in Lake Oh, that's where I go for all my vaccinations is Lake Station. Because no one in Lake Station you're not gonna wait in line there. No one is getting vaccinated over there.
Jen Pancake:That's offensive.
Jerry Pancake:I'm sorry.
Jen Pancake:Is it really offensive? It's a Lake Station night.
Jerry Pancake:Jay can't take us from
Josh Scramble:Most people are at convenience stores or getting cigarettes. I mean, there's 9,000 guests.
Jerry Pancake:Oh yeah. If you want
Jen Pancake:to line up They've been to everything.
Jerry Pancake:I got seven jabs all in one arm because I didn't want to roll up my other sleeve and then immediately got super sick once I got home from beautiful sunny and warm Arizona. Josh scramble, where have you been traveled to?
Josh Scramble:I did not get COVID for Christmas. I stayed healthy, but I did bring over some food and wanted to stay here to escape the, chaos that was going on at my house. But you guys were sick, so that was not an option.
Jen Pancake:Jerry was dead that day. I remember. I was. You're like, woah. He's really sick.
Josh Scramble:Yeah. I walked in and Jerry
Jen Pancake:over the couch.
Josh Scramble:Jerry was in a semi fetal position under a blanket looking like death warmed over. But, we just went skiing because, you know, we're those people who go from a cold environment to a colder environment. So we've visited the lovely country of Canada, which was interesting in the, political times we're in right
Jerry Pancake:Our fifty first state, I hear.
Josh Scramble:But they don't yeah. It was very interesting being an American abroad during everything. Yeah. They're kinda banding together.
Jen Pancake:Cue the Russian national anthem.
Josh Scramble:If you ever want to unite another country, just start throwing dumb shit at them, and that'll do it because they're, like, they are literally pulling all the bottles from the bar that are American. I I ordered a Captain and Diet, and they're like, well, if we still have any left because once we run out of anything American, we're taking it off the menu. I'm like, what? Way to go. I mean, say it with your money.
Jerry Pancake:Good for them. I hope they reopen that Elsinore Brewery, the one in strange brew where they were doing the mind altering drugs in the beer. Those guys, the Mackenzie brothers.
Jen Pancake:Could have ordered a little more gown.
Josh Scramble:Actually, the funny thing is they, on the labels up there, I guess in French rum is spelled with an h r h u m. So it's room. Well, you know, the funny little differences.
Jerry Pancake:I love the French. They they're like burning it down over there. Like when they get, when they want to strike, they're just like all of them in the streets. Nobody cares. They, they burned up a Tesla dealership, set it on fire.
Jerry Pancake:Oh yeah. They're, they're not fucking around over there, man. I don't know what you know, you think of a French person like, you know, whatever. I kind of Once
Josh Scramble:they get motivated, they get motivated.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. They're not they will guillotine people in a second. Like, didn't they invent it?
Jen Pancake:The L's are silent.
Josh Scramble:Guillotine? Yeah. Guillotine. Four years of French.
Jerry Pancake:I say guillotine. I'm an American. It's a guillotine wire. It's guillotine around here, lady.
Josh Scramble:Around these parts, we call it a guillotine.
Jerry Pancake:Portage. Definitely calling it a guillotine in Portage.
Josh Scramble:That's a that's a Port Gay guillotine. Port Gay get proud.
Jen Pancake:Shout out to miss McPherson, Portage Portage High School.
Josh Scramble:That's who
Jerry Pancake:I had. Did you?
Josh Scramble:I don't
Jerry Pancake:think she likes You're not supposed to say real names, but that's fine.
Josh Scramble:Oh, she's long retired.
Jerry Pancake:I thought you were gonna say dead.
Josh Scramble:She might be dead.
Jerry Pancake:Well, she will be now. So we we're good at when we mention people they try
Josh Scramble:to In twenty
Jen Pancake:years, she didn't
Josh Scramble:own a TV. She did not own a TV.
Jen Pancake:Smart lady.
Josh Scramble:Which mhmm. No. But this was like thirty, twenty, well, twenty years. Free internet.
Jerry Pancake:What she do? Read books?
Josh Scramble:Yeah. Like a weirdo. Sorry. She only watched one thing, the Olympics, which always like I don't okay. If you don't watch a lot of TV, I understand.
Josh Scramble:But if you don't watch any TV, it kind of like But the
Jerry Pancake:she watched the Olympics though.
Josh Scramble:She liked watching the Olympics. So for two weeks every four or sorry. Two weeks every two years, she would watch TV.
Jen Pancake:I just have to
Jerry Pancake:Where did she she rent the TV at the time? You could right
Jen Pancake:there and and lead with teachers are very weird. So in general.
Jerry Pancake:We know some. We are some.
Josh Scramble:Because you have to deal with fucking assholes every day.
Jen Pancake:Well, that could be one reason.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. I see. But you have
Jen Pancake:to be nuts to do this job. I've I think I've realized.
Jerry Pancake:I spent we've we've been out also very busy. It's testing season. We are in the education sphere.
Josh Scramble:God bless you.
Jerry Pancake:And so it's test state testing time. And that's been an interesting situation.
Jen Pancake:My were tested by Rusty the Railcat yesterday.
Jerry Pancake:Yes. Jen is doing her testing at the Railcat's stadium because we are virtual.
Jen Pancake:And that is not a joke. One of the teachers put on the y, mascot outfit. And taught in it?
Jerry Pancake:No. Trying to amuse the testing Did
Josh Scramble:it stink?
Jen Pancake:I don't know. I stayed far away, but I I can tell you that once he was out of it, he was completely drenched and his clothes were soaked.
Josh Scramble:Asking if the suit stink. Like, I would think that, you know
Jen Pancake:I mean, if it didn't, it does now because he's
Josh Scramble:swept through clothes. The kid in that stupid suit in the middle of, like, July and it's 90 degrees, 90% humidity, this fucking kid has to walk around in a bear costume.
Jen Pancake:I'm just gonna say they're they're gonna have to dry dry clean it again. And it's a cat. It's right in the name.
Josh Scramble:Yeah. But he's not. Oh, I guess he technically he is, but he looks like a bear.
Jen Pancake:He does look like a bear.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. It's not a good rendition of a cat. For sure.
Josh Scramble:Just big and furry are also. Big and furry. Yeah.
Jen Pancake:I mean, I hope he's not listening. Surely, you know what mean? Have probably way the virtual school is I don't know any of my coworkers.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. And I was over in on Ridge Road at the Excel Center. I don't know if you're familiar with that, but it's
Jen Pancake:Lots of excelling.
Jerry Pancake:Right next to the Goodwill outlet.
Josh Scramble:I know where you're talking about.
Jerry Pancake:And it's interesting. It's a school for adult learners.
Josh Scramble:Who messed up the first time around?
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. Yeah. Or a place for homeless people to do like business things, like set up their doctor's appointments and
Josh Scramble:Oh, I thought you meant like
Jerry Pancake:Like use the microwave or whatever. And like then after they close, they go on to wherever wherever they're gonna be. So that has been an interesting thing. And that part of Gary is such a weird it's kinda on the border of Griffith.
Josh Scramble:It's kind of another world.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. It's very it's very interesting over there. Definitely different than Miller here. So we've been busy with that. And again, we apologize, but we're gonna try and get a couple episodes out.
Jerry Pancake:We're really gonna
Jen Pancake:dazzle you today.
Jerry Pancake:Dazzle.
Josh Scramble:I do have a update, news update for our listeners. I will say that I once challenged everyone one of our listeners, if you could find a empty parking lot photo of romantics, I would give you $20. I can officially call that contest closed, and unfortunately, won by myself.
Jerry Pancake:What lonely ass day that were you out there?
Josh Scramble:So it was Sunday, January 18 at 09:52AM according to the time stamp on my phone. Sunday. It was a Sunday. I had a the fuck did you know it was a Sunday just from the date?
Jerry Pancake:So here's the thing with romantics. They're competing with a lot of the churches in the area. They really are. So a lot of those people, super religious people, they go there, get their dildos, get the butt plugs and jack off then get a fucking like the one review. Then, yeah, like on Sunday morning,
Jen Pancake:go wash it all away on Sunday.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. They're going to go confess and that priest is going to be like, alright, well, tell
Josh Scramble:me what sins you did at the romantics this week. You smell like a sex booth in shame.
Jerry Pancake:Mister James, what bad things did you do at the romantics this week, sir?
Josh Scramble:So but to give some context as to why I caught this photo, I was repairing a faucet on one of our sinks. And of course, one sink is not the same size as the other. So I had to go buy some, attachments for the lines in. And on the way to the hardware store, saw one car and was very disappointed. And on the way back, took a browse over and was like, oh, crap.
Josh Scramble:And immediately grabbed my phone and caught a live photo. So we can we'll probably post it to our Instagram just to have the actual proof.
Jen Pancake:Was there a blizzard?
Josh Scramble:No. It was just just no. If you look at the photo, was a minor amount of snow on the ground. It was cold and cloudy, but I mean, there there was no weird
Jen Pancake:No explainable reason.
Josh Scramble:No. Just it was the time of day. I guess I caught I mean, I looked up and there was no eclipse going on. So I just Maybe
Jen Pancake:the cashier had a emergency of some sort.
Jerry Pancake:No. I mean, I I just think it's probably not it's probably not fun for just one person. Like, you gotta have a lot of people in there for
Josh Scramble:If you're looking for that, there's always gotta be the first person to show up to a party.
Jen Pancake:It is true. Even a circle check.
Jerry Pancake:I mean, but also alright. Let's I have another theory too. There's a lot of truck parking right there. So, I mean, people could walk. They're true.
Jerry Pancake:But
Josh Scramble:also if you That
Jen Pancake:parking lot is never empty.
Josh Scramble:But I've also seen a lot of full tractor trailers just parked in there, like
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Just getting a quick jerk in or whatever.
Jen Pancake:Zero fucks.
Jerry Pancake:Because I think you could jerk in one of those trucks. They're pretty roomy.
Josh Scramble:Oh, they've got that whole bed attachment. It's like a minor bedroom.
Jerry Pancake:But it's not as exciting that that doing it that way.
Josh Scramble:It would be difficult to put a glory hole in the back of a semi truck.
Jerry Pancake:I bet people have done it. Those truck drivers are free.
Josh Scramble:Just a little more more cramped.
Jen Pancake:Get a get a sheet of plywood like I'm already envisioning it.
Josh Scramble:It's not even a, it's not even a wall. It's just like a little, a
Jen Pancake:very pro
Jerry Pancake:glory hole. Jenny pancake glory hole design.
Jen Pancake:Pro pro glory hole.
Jerry Pancake:You could do, like, you know how they do those home improvement videos?
Josh Scramble:A flower. Glory hole makeover.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. Like, do those quick, like, home videos.
Josh Scramble:That bus.
Jerry Pancake:They'll do those quick little sped up videos where they, like, build a whole deck in, like, thirty seconds, And yours is just, like, making a glory hole.
Jen Pancake:It's just a sheet of plywood, and I paint a flower on
Josh Scramble:it and
Jerry Pancake:go all the through the center.
Josh Scramble:No. Even need to speed the whole video up. It's just Jen with a drill for thirty seconds. And this
Jerry Pancake:one is a clown's mouth.
Jen Pancake:Hello kids. And
Jerry Pancake:this is a gentleman from the eighteen nineties.
Jen Pancake:It's a fun house
Jerry Pancake:with that looks like Charlie Chaplin.
Josh Scramble:We call it the Old Glory Hole. You You see?
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. That might take off. We gotta look into The
Jen Pancake:old Glory Hole. That's that takes me back.
Jerry Pancake:We got a lot of federal workers losing their jobs. So, you know, maybe we can start making glory holes and doing you know, they can make a little money that way, maybe.
Josh Scramble:Tariff the glory hole.
Jen Pancake:Make America glory hole again.
Josh Scramble:Make America glorious again. Glorious.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. It's like yeah. We have to that is definitely like, put that on our list. Side What list? What list?
Jerry Pancake:The side gigs. Hustles.
Josh Scramble:I love to see this business card. Jerry pancake, gory, whole entrepreneur. Although you are, you do make fuck sheds. So Yeah.
Jerry Pancake:And you That's an attachment to
Josh Scramble:fuck shit.
Jerry Pancake:I'm thinking renting is the way to go with a glory hole.
Josh Scramble:We we have a lease for
Jerry Pancake:you. Because you don't sometimes you don't want some of your people coming over to your house and being like, oh god. He put that glory hole right in the front yard.
Josh Scramble:Can I make one suggestion?
Jerry Pancake:Like your parents come over, you wanna like hide it or put it in the bank.
Josh Scramble:Very high security deposit.
Jen Pancake:Oh. We can get some like decorative dividers for privacy?
Josh Scramble:I I don't know.
Jerry Pancake:It sounds like a fuck shed now.
Jen Pancake:Those When our when our fake school business implodes, which
Jerry Pancake:Well, maybe we can get a PPP loan for the glory home business.
Josh Scramble:A PP how about just a PP loan? PP loan.
Jerry Pancake:Or a PP. Yeah. They're only doing the PP now.
Jen Pancake:They need
Jerry Pancake:to because there's no pandemic anymore.
Jen Pancake:If there's any PP loaners out there listening.
Josh Scramble:How long are my PP?
Jerry Pancake:There's a lot of them in the world right now.
Jen Pancake:Yeah. I can think of a few.
Josh Scramble:Pee pee loners? Yep. Hate to see the interest rate.
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Jerry Pancake:Welcome back to the Miller Morning Madhouse. We are gonna do a segment. We've all been traveling recently. Right?
Josh Scramble:We have.
Jerry Pancake:So we're gonna start doing a segment here, called everything sucks now.
Josh Scramble:Anyone who knows Jerry, it's a plentiful amount of things.
Jerry Pancake:Man, everything does suck. There's only, like, four things I like doing anymore.
Jen Pancake:We're gonna we're gonna make it a separate podcast, but but we don't have the capacity to
Jerry Pancake:sell space. No. We thought about that and, for just a minute or two, but we're gonna incorporate it here into the madhouse. Everything sucks now. We're this is kinda like a almost a history historic kind of The
Jen Pancake:historians will look back on Miller Moring madhouse.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. Now that I'm in my fifties, I've there was a time when everything was pretty awesome. Okay.
Josh Scramble:Was it the eighties, Jerry?
Jerry Pancake:It was the eighties. But our first first segment of this, because all of us have been traveling, is the plane travel sucks. I can agree. Now did you go on some Canadian airline or just a regular?
Josh Scramble:So interesting. We flew Air Canada the way out there, which is part of the United family. But the Air Canada flight out seemed to have more amenities than the United flight on the way back.
Jen Pancake:It always does.
Jerry Pancake:That makes a lot of sense to me. I remember when we traveled to, Mexico, was it?
Jen Pancake:Oh, that was amazing.
Jerry Pancake:I don't know if you've ever flown Aeromexico, but I have not. Bro. I'm gonna start saying that a lot now, bro.
Jen Pancake:Talk talk about breakfast.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. They gave us a hot breakfast.
Josh Scramble:It was good.
Jen Pancake:And it was delicious.
Jerry Pancake:The stewardesses look like Stewart. They're all dressed up in, like, full lipstick. They fed us.
Jen Pancake:I don't condone that, by the way. But it was they were beautiful and and very nice.
Jerry Pancake:Oh, yeah. Nice to
Josh Scramble:look at. That just reminded me of our next episode of everything sucks because I just thought of something.
Jerry Pancake:Perfect. But, yeah, like super way more room on that on that Aeromexico plane. So it seems like the foreign
Josh Scramble:markets, I think, have a much better idea of, please do not just make this a bus in the air.
Jerry Pancake:I would gladly pay more Give
Jen Pancake:us some Canadian amenities that you experienced, Scramble. Just an
Josh Scramble:extra treat. There was so they did two rounds of the
Jen Pancake:Oh, two pass throughs?
Josh Scramble:Yeah. Well, it was a four oh, not a four hour fight, but I think three and a half because it was here to Vancouver.
Jen Pancake:Oh, okay. That's pretty. So they
Josh Scramble:did one round of the, you know, the snacks and the drink, and then they did another one. It was the first flight that I had been on since, you know, remember back in like the '9 no. No. Not that long. I'm just kidding.
Josh Scramble:But back in the nineties when they started saying like, look at how much technology we're throwing in a plane, and they always used to show the video screens. It was the first legit flight I was on where it had the video screen and like it didn't fucking suck ass. Like, It actually worked. It worked. It worked fantastic.
Jen Pancake:It it made your travel experience better Yes. Versus the opposite.
Jerry Pancake:Oh, they gave you free headphones.
Josh Scramble:They they did offer free headphones, but I had my own. The only thing that I did not like is it offered Bluetooth, but the Bluetooth sucked ass. But I'm like, I came prepared. Radio Shack scramble over here had his own wired headphones he could use too. Well,
Jerry Pancake:I mean, you don't wanna I it's my opinion. You don't wanna really fuck around with radio signals on today's planes. Just, know, especially the Bluetooth. Bluetooth sucks, but that's a whole other everything sucks
Josh Scramble:funny about you asked about the big difference. So we flew out of O'Hare. Everybody on Air Canada was French or French Canadian. And I'm like, did you literally bring these people down from Canada to work for the airline? But I mean, I'm talking the ticket counter person, the baggage person.
Josh Scramble:Oh, wow. Everyone was French or I'm sorry. French Canadian. So maybe Quebec, it was funny. I was like, none of you are American.
Josh Scramble:I didn't say this out loud, I looked at miss Graham, I'm like, everyone on this crew is Canadian.
Jen Pancake:So do they I mean, being that a flight attendant is my dream occupation and has
Josh Scramble:been since I was glad for punishment. You're a teacher and then you wanna be a flight attendant? Are you trying to hit, like, every bastard category there is?
Jen Pancake:So you get stationed somewhere and that's your that's your term.
Jerry Pancake:Your whole Yeah. Your home base.
Jen Pancake:Yeah. You have and you have to put some time in at a place that is not your home sometimes. So I'm but but you're even saying the ticket people and the
Josh Scramble:Everyone. Everyone I dealt with from the moment we At O'Hare? At O'Hare. It was weird. Like, from the moment we walked up to the ticket gate to weigh our bags, check-in to the flight counter This is a time on the plane was all French Canadian.
Josh Scramble:This is
Jen Pancake:a good time to ask our listeners if they have any knowledge of this. Call in number
Jerry Pancake:Call in to 219. 1 9?
Jen Pancake:Yeah.
Jerry Pancake:420-8200. I don't think that's the number. Will I will have to throw that in there.
Josh Scramble:Never mind.
Jen Pancake:No one call in.
Jerry Pancake:My brain is not
Jen Pancake:Scrambled.
Jerry Pancake:It's a little scrambled today. But like so your experience was sounds fantastic, at least going there.
Josh Scramble:Well, it was a long day because it was a full day of travel. Like, our flight wasn't until one, and it was a three and a half hour flight and then a two hour shuttle from the airport to the ski resort. So it was a full all day, and we got in late. So it wasn't that bad, but had we left earlier in the day, it would have been a lot better.
Jerry Pancake:Was it a full flight? Because I'm getting to that.
Josh Scramble:Yeah. I've never been on a flight once. Sorry. I've been on one flight where it hasn't been completely full. And that flight I was on, there was five people on and it wasn't around 09:11.
Josh Scramble:But every flight I've ever been on except that one has been jam packed full of assholes.
Jerry Pancake:Oh, man. Flying after 09:11 must have been like paradise. Like, you're just like three people on the plane and you're like, hey. Yeah. We got this whole fucking plane.
Jerry Pancake:You wanna smoke?
Jen Pancake:Early pandemic. Early pandemic.
Josh Scramble:We went skiing to another
Jen Pancake:round trip
Josh Scramble:to to another place and it was a giant plane. It was like, not a seven eighty seven, but one of the bigger Boeing planes. And I'm like, well, we gotta get a safety row so I could get them more leg room. We got on, four people passed us checking or getting on the plane. They shut the door and I looked around like, what bizarre world are we in?
Josh Scramble:It was awesome.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. But they have I think the I I don't know. I watched some stupid documentary on they have, you know, this algorithm that figures out how to sell every single seat on every single flight and oversell some. Yeah. So we our experience, we flew Southwest and God love them.
Jerry Pancake:God love Southwest, but they are packed every flight. Cattle call airline. And you can't pick your seat. You could pay $1,000,000 and you nope. You're getting in that stupid line with the numbers, and no one's looking at what number they have.
Josh Scramble:I actually got very shitty with some people on a Southwest airline once. Not the employees, but, like, other people.
Jerry Pancake:Where they lined up in the wrong place and then some of the gate people check, but some of them don't care.
Josh Scramble:No. It wasn't even that. So you're not supposed to reserve or like block seats from people sitting down, but I was on hour thirty of being awake after a couple people in my party ended up in the hospital.
Jen Pancake:Oh, jeez.
Josh Scramble:Yeah. It was it was fun. And, there was this group of women who were coming back from a girl's trip, and they asked, like, hey. Is there any chance you might be able to help us save some seats? I'm like, I am your guy right now.
Josh Scramble:And these people walked by, like, are those seats seeking? I'm like, yes. They are. They're like, well, I thought you weren't supposed to. I'm like, they're taken.
Josh Scramble:I'm like, move along. These are not the droids you're looting for. Move along. This woman, what turns around, she's like, wow. You were taking this request very serious.
Josh Scramble:I'm like, it's been a long day, ma'am.
Jen Pancake:I'm ready to fight. Baby, bro.
Jerry Pancake:Here's a little pro tip when you're traveling, because this is what had happened to Jen Pancake and myself. My sister, Day Day Pancake, has two small children, my niece, my beautiful niece, and my handsome nephew. And they didn't have to reserve anything. All they had to do was have those kids.
Josh Scramble:Because no one wanted to hear them.
Jerry Pancake:No. No. No. They're watching their iPads.
Jen Pancake:Automatic speaker.
Jerry Pancake:Full fucking volume. Like no headphones. And no one is go like, they were almost, it was surprising that anyone was even sitting in any of the rows that were in front or behind them, in fact. And so we got seats saved, by them. So we were able to even though we boarded the plane almost, like, dead last.
Jerry Pancake:That was
Jen Pancake:Oh, we never board dead last because or here's a here's a thing. Here's a stark difference between me and
Josh Scramble:Mister Pancake.
Jen Pancake:Mister Pancake. I prefer to be the last one on the plane. I do not like lines or waiting in lines or anything to do with lines.
Josh Scramble:One day at the beach, we should just make a fake line out of people. Yeah. We make
Jen Pancake:fake lines all the time. I don't know if you're aware, but people love lines.
Jerry Pancake:They love The security, the TSA.
Jen Pancake:The performing lines. They love lines. Here's the thing though.
Josh Scramble:You know what?
Jen Pancake:You just wait until everyone gets on the plane, there then you just get right on and
Josh Scramble:you don't
Jen Pancake:have put in a line.
Josh Scramble:Next time you're somewhere public, just have you and a couple people make a line, people will just automatically start going behind you thinking that They
Jen Pancake:will get behind you. It it happens in cars too. It doesn't even matter. People love lines.
Josh Scramble:So what is your most and I don't wanna say terrible.
Jerry Pancake:I know a lot of people that love lines too.
Josh Scramble:Is your most stressful Stressful. Alright.
Jen Pancake:Alright. Calm down, scramper, pancake.
Josh Scramble:What is your most stressful moment in the entire port part of air flight travel? I can tell you mine.
Jen Pancake:It's I can tell I can tell you pancakes. So when when we're getting ready for it to be our turn to go stand by the dumb number, And I say, oh, you know what? I'll be right back.
Josh Scramble:Oh, yeah. She's gonna go to the bathroom, or I'm gonna go get a coffee. And then I'm like, can you get back here? What the fuck?
Jen Pancake:He loses his marbles every
Jerry Pancake:She can see it in my face too because I know she she does it every time.
Jen Pancake:I do it every Just
Josh Scramble:to fuck with you now?
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. Oh,
Josh Scramble:yeah. No. Yes. No. Come on.
Jerry Pancake:She likes doing it. I
Jen Pancake:can I don't like
Jerry Pancake:doing She's, like, resisting? She doesn't wanna be in the line. I follow the rules. I get in the line with whatever
Jen Pancake:This is his
Jerry Pancake:dumb number.
Jen Pancake:This is his dumb excuse that he that he that he wants to be in the line, because he likes to follow rules. I don't think any that I
Josh Scramble:don't think Jerry loves order.
Jen Pancake:Separate issues. The line and then getting on last are two separate things.
Jerry Pancake:Just think if you were only waiting in that line to crash to your death.
Josh Scramble:So well, that's that's the funny thing. So
Jerry Pancake:Like, imagine that. Imagine how sad that is. You're like, oh, I waited all this time in this line, and we're just gonna die. So So maybe you have the right idea because if you miss the plane and it crashes
Jen Pancake:I've not. You're alive. I don't believe I've ever missed
Jerry Pancake:a flight. I think that's how it works.
Josh Scramble:I've never missed I've never missed a flight on my own. Like of my own cause.
Jerry Pancake:My other pancake former wife did miss a couple planes, two or three.
Josh Scramble:In a row?
Jerry Pancake:Not in a row. She's not someone else that we know. But, yeah, the one time she had it, she missed her flight, she had to spend the night in the airport.
Jen Pancake:Ugh. Alright. Pancake, do you have a stressful moment?
Josh Scramble:I thought we just
Jen Pancake:Well, I mean, that was that would be my
Josh Scramble:Your prediction? My prediction.
Jerry Pancake:So I don't like security, but I will tell you a very funny story about it. Oh my gosh. Is So my this is a couple couple years ago when we were going to Arizona. Pre or post 09:11.
Jen Pancake:You shouldn't have
Jerry Pancake:Post 09:11. This is just a couple Oh,
Josh Scramble:okay.
Jerry Pancake:It was right after, like, the pandemic and everything.
Jen Pancake:It was You should have held off talking about when it was until after the story because it's it's funnier to think that you were young and dumb.
Jerry Pancake:Oh, no. This was very recently, like two years ago.
Josh Scramble:Old and dumb. Who cares?
Jerry Pancake:So 20 let's say twenty twenty three. So we're going on this trip for my brother. He's stressed out. So we're kind of having like a guy's trip going on like a golf trip to Arizona. We had all this staying in this beautiful home and, you know, I decided I'm going to bring my golf clubs.
Jerry Pancake:Right? Like, you know, we're we planned on golfing, like, three or four times. So I'm like
Josh Scramble:It's gonna be cheaper to just bring.
Jerry Pancake:Yeah. And Southwest does not charge you.
Josh Scramble:Really?
Jerry Pancake:If that's your only checked bag. Right?
Josh Scramble:I'm sorry. What? Just thinking of like, this is what just the image of this is my checked bag. Don't mind don't mind the driver.
Jerry Pancake:No. They like I
Josh Scramble:get I get what you're
Jerry Pancake:You have to they have to be in a, like, a special bag.
Josh Scramble:But you could check it, but I'm just thinking. What are you bringing to wear? Oh, my 15 clubs and a T shirt.
Jerry Pancake:So, yeah, I had a backpack that I brought on the plane.
Josh Scramble:I get where you're
Jerry Pancake:going. And so we're going my brother and I are, like, we're very excited and we get in the security line. I got my golf clubs and we just went straight to try to get through security. And they actually put my golf clubs on the
Josh Scramble:On the on
Jerry Pancake:the conveyor belt.
Josh Scramble:How would they even
Jerry Pancake:fit on the wall? Laughing. They were all laughing, by the way. And we just had no idea. Wait.
Jerry Pancake:Like, we just weren't thinking about it?
Josh Scramble:Like, through sick like, it was your carry on. Yeah.
Jen Pancake:Yeah. Like that.
Jerry Pancake:I thought that maybe they would take it.
Josh Scramble:Right.
Jerry Pancake:They he tried to put in a special place.
Jen Pancake:Like, Like, was I
Jerry Pancake:put it through the X-ray. Put the guy
Jen Pancake:through the X-ray machine?
Jerry Pancake:Oh, he put it through there. Come on. And he said Sir And they were all laughing at us. And everybody in line must have been like, what the fuck? Idiots.
Jerry Pancake:These fucking two idiots. And the guy put it through, and he's like, you know, this can't be a fucking carry on, the TSA guy. And then my brother and I just looked at each other, and then we're like, oh, fuck. And he's like, by the way, you have three full beers in there. Like, saw he's, like, in the X-ray, and all those guys are fucking laughing.
Jerry Pancake:And he's like, you might wanna take those out because they will likely explode. And sure enough, I was so embarrassed that when I checked it, I did not take the beers out.
Josh Scramble:Oh, good. They exploded.
Jerry Pancake:One of them did explode, and my bag was full of beer. I ruined my brother in law's golf bag because you put him in this special travel bag. Oh. Because I saw that he had a new one when we were just traveling now. I'm like, what happened to the old one?
Jerry Pancake:He's like, well, it smelled like beer.
Jen Pancake:Just when I think he's very smart, then I hear the and then, you know, what like, what I just heard this story for the first time when we were in Arizona. And I assumed it was when he was like, maybe, I don't know, in his twenties
Jerry Pancake:or something. Like, ago. Never flew on a plane before.
Jen Pancake:Or whatever, but nope. It was just the other day.
Jerry Pancake:Just in 2023.
Josh Scramble:WSBR's Cedar Beach Radio, the best station between Rush and Ridley.
Barack Obama:Miller Beach, this is your president. When I'm hanging out at Flamingos, I light a camel and put on the Miller morning madhouse with Jerry Pancake and Josh Scramble.
Jerry Pancake:Alright, folks. That's it for today's episode of the Miller morning madhouse. Big thanks to our sponsors, So Cool Shirts, where bad decisions become great fashion. Check them out for your next questionable T shirt. And don't forget all in just trivia with Josh scramble hosted at the Marshall j Gardner Center.
Jerry Pancake:It's the only trivia night where the questions are just as unpredictable as the answers. Join us if you dare.
Jerry Pancake:And a shout out to the Miller Community Theater
Jerry Pancake:also at the Marshall j Gardner Center, where the local stars shine bright. Big thanks to the MBACD for hosting these awesome events and making Miller Beach the place to be.
Jerry Pancake:Thanks for hanging out with us, Miller Beach. We will be back next Sunday, hopefully, with
Jerry Pancake:a brand new episode. That is if we are not too hungover. No promises. But stay cool, stay crazy, and keep supporting the madhouse. Catch you next time.
SoCool Daniella:All you guys do is just sit up there and talk about how fucking cool you are.
Jerry Pancake:Bam's a bam. What's a bam? Well, you wouldn't even know. She
Jerry Pancake:laughed and said, I know just where to begin. She said, I know you like breakfast food. I'm about to blow your mind. I have a sandwich that was made for your kind. It's the Moons Over My Hemi.
Jerry Pancake:It's got cheese and egg. Eat it on sourdough as you check out my leg. It's Moons It's the moon's Do you understand the words that come
Josh Scramble:out of my mouth?
SoCool Daniella:You speak it in English?
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