MMM S8E8: Chat GLP

Larry? Larry David? Yeah? Hey, where's Loretta? Loretta! Peanut! Peanut boy!

Look at you. Look at you, boy. Baby girl. Oh my God. Y'all even watch.

Oh my sister. Hey boy, what you doing here? What you doing here?

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I know I smell some cooking food. Get in here.

I smell food. Come here, auntie. White hair's chance to burn away.

Who is this guy? That's my brother, Leon. Girl, look at that.

Oh, look at that. Oh, oh, hello girl. Look.

Which room are we gonna stay in? What? Which room are we gonna stay in?

Hey, if you see my room, I can leave. Yeah, that's it. Look at my bed,

look at my bed. Look at my bed. Show him where the room is at. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on, boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You seen the hurricane? No, he lives here in LA.

We are live. Can everybody hear me out there in podcast land?

I mean, it's been a minute. Welcome back to the Miller Morning Madhouse. I am Jerry Pancake.

I am Joshua Scramble. Jenny Pancake.

How's everybody doing? It has been a long time, but not really for us.

It's been a while since we put together an episode because we recorded like

an hour and a half of episodes.

It was like a long, perfect episode that didn't record.

Our derecho special that will never air because the volume is way too low.

It will only live in our minds.

We had a thing where it was just recording from the microphone on the computer

instead of this elaborate podcast rig that we have.

It was meant to be, though. That doesn't work. But yeah, we want to forget that

the derecho or derecho, derecho, camacho, demacho, whatever the fucking stupid

macho deracho is what I was going on.

It does feel like a long time ago now. Whatever the stupid fucking thing was,

we're almost back to normal. It's been two months. Yeah.

It's not been that long, but yet I'm trying to move on with my life.

We have a new shed. Yeah. I mean, we're getting back to normal pretty.

One less tree, one one two.

We don't have any trees anymore. I don't know that I'd call anything normal.

Join the club. Zero trees here. We are better off than Fort Myers Beach.

Recently saw that after, what, five years?

It's been a while, yeah. Nothing. Except speculators. Is it four years,

maybe? I think it was four. Four years. Well.

22. Four, five, whatever. Either way. Yeah. Massive speculation. Not a lot of building.

A lot of empty beachfront there. Except for the big Margaritaville.

That's like the size of a Walmart.

About the only thing there. Margaritaville.

A pissy pool for y'all.

Wasted away again. A pissy pool. A pissy pool.

Fucking these. A lazy river of piss. Telling these kids to go fuck off.

I mean, everyone there looked like they were having the time of their lives.

Yeah, they weren't. Yeah, because about every parrot head on Earth is now Social Security age.

The disassociation of what's going on in the world and somebody that's on vacation

at Margaritaville is just massive. It's like, oh, it's a nuclear holocaust.

Oh, yeah, but we're still going to Margaritaville, right?

Two things can happen at the same time. We're not canceling our vacation because

of the news. Why would they?

Speaking of vacations and of that.

Guests. Are we talking about guests? We were guests recently in someone's home,

our friends, the dancers. But you were wanted.

I think we were. Jen. No, you were definitely.

Jen Pancake said we were. You assured me. Well, it's better than unwanted because

I am currently with unwanted house guests that it'll be an interesting look

back once it's over of what was the worst two-week period to deal with,

the derecho or my unwanted house guests.

Well, you had house guests during the Dansons during the derecho.

True, but at least like...

You like them? I like them. Yeah, true. I shouldn't sugarcoat anything,

and I'm going to sound like a complete fucking dick this episode, but I don't care.

I have zero fucks left to give. Like, when I don't want to go home,

I feel like a father who is right here. Oh, dude. Who is this?

I used to have to do that with my- Yeah, like, I don't want to go home.

Or the other lady that I was married to.

There's nowhere to go. I would just go to the grocery store for like two hours

sometimes. Grocery store, geez. I have been. Not even like the bar, like a normal person.

Well, you can't just drink yourself. You can't go to the bar.

Like, I mean. You could, but then that just causes a lot of it.

Have you guys ever had someone live with you that was sudden and unwanted?

Only when I was a child, my mom invited many people to just live with us.

Oh, and your uncle did save you guys from the fire.

Oh, shit. Yeah. That sounds like a heavy story that Jen started.

It was always random men. So not cool for me, but also they were nice enough.

And I guess I could trust my mom's judgment of who she, what wandering vagrant

she let live with us periodically.

But yeah, not going in the basement. Okay.

Well, to catch the listening audience, however many of you are out there,

I've been clamoring for a while. There's four or five, I think.

Yeah, two trees, six, seven, whatever.

I have got my mother-in-law living with me for the next week and a half,

and I think it's going to be- Do you love your mother-in-law? No.

It is the worst kept secret in the world that I'm not a fan of most of my in-laws,

and it's not because they're shitty, like they're rude or anything. They're just-

This is not like she's sick. How did this happen? I thought everything was on track.

A series of bad decisions. A series of bad decisions as always.

A series of bad life and financial decisions.

Classic. She is out of options. Much like all the vagrant men that lived with

us when I was a child. Yeah, like the steel mill guys that maybe got kicked

out of their house for cheating on their wife or something. Honestly,

it would be better if it was like a crazy story.

It's crazy-ish. or if she was crazy, that would be better. At least it'd be slightly...

She has no hobbies. It's like an 89-year-old toddler. What does she do?

Nothing. I don't think many 89-year-old people have hobbies. She watches TV.

Well, that's the other thing. The stories, watch her stories.

No, she doesn't know how to operate

our TV. Oh, well, Josh, can you get me Channel 9? Tom Skilling's on.

No. It's kind of like that, except she doesn't want to be a bother,

except she's always... It's, I don't want to bother you, but can you? It's not...

Like, she's constantly scared in the house. Like, we walk in. Scared?

Well, we live in Gary. No, it's not even that. Like, Leslie or I will walk into

a room, and she's like, ugh!

Like, you know, like, you just snuck up on somebody? Like, you've startled her? Yes.

Like, you're in her house. Yeah. Did she normally?

Like, you're the unwanted man? You're the intruder. Like, literally, it happened.

Before I came over, Leslie walks into the room to say, hey, we're leaving.

It's like, bitch, you're in our house. There are two other people and two pets here.

So, well, I mean, so she doesn't listen to music.

She doesn't read. She doesn't. It's like a creepy painting on the wall with

the eyes that follow you.

Except it's a person. What about the eating times? Have you had to adjust?

No, I'm not adjusting my life for her.

And we've told her, like, we're not here to entertain or take care of you.

And it's not, just to let everyone know, it's not like she got cancer.

There's no illness. This is just poor decisions. Oldness.

Poor decisions, and now we have inherited you for two weeks.

There's an overlap from where she's going to where she came from to where she's going.

And the overlap lands with you well it's the end of the month,

right it's the end of October yes first of November she gets to move into her

new apartment so there's a rental switch but she had to be out of the other place.

Sure. Let's call it. Yeah, let's call it. Or was there a kerfuffle that got her kicked out early?

There's been months of kerfuffle-ish activity.

I'm not going to go into detail on that. I thought I remembered some kerfuffle-ing.

All I know is that I don't want kids. I've never wanted kids,

and this has just reassured me of why.

It's an 89-year-old toddler with no hobbies, nothing. It would be fine.

Like, hey, I'm going to go do my thing, and I'll see you tonight. Cool.

Have fun. Like, no, it's I'm going to sit here, and she'd be a great prisoner.

Does she read books or anything? He said no.

We gave her a book to read, which she finally did. Like a Tony Robbins self-improvement. Oh, no.

I don't know. Believe in yourself. At 89, I don't know. Starting over. 89 is the new 40.

Well, the bad decisions might indicate that she could use some. Some kind of.

But also like at 89, like what are you going to do? You are who you are.

I'm who I am at 54. Yeah, that's true.

Like you say, you only get worse, right? That's what I keep saying.

This is the best I'm ever going to be. That's what I keep saying.

She is definitely not changing. And I.

There's anger built up in me that i just want to express like god and but i'm

like what's the point in yelling at a 90 year old woman i mean that would probably

not end well but so her habits just like,

we had to kind of lecture her the other day like she naturally she goes to bed

early because she's old so tired guess who gets up very early oh yeah so,

i don't know what she's not used being in houses that aren't her own because

I constantly hear like I could tell when she uses the bathroom because,

you can hear the toilet seat just slam down like, boom.

So then the other morning, just leave it down. I don't know.

I don't know. Like, I don't know if it's deleted. Maybe she's afraid she's going to fall in.

Well, but then you would leave it down. Well, she's slamming it down, right?

I don't know if it's the lid or what's going on, but it was 4.45 Monday morning.

I hear that. And then we have hardwood floors, and I'm not like,

you're in someone else's house, and the door opening very loud.

It's closed, like, not even an attempt to be quiet.

And it's just like, I look at the clock, and I'm like, fuck off, it's 5.30.

And you're not getting back to bed. It doesn't help. No, no.

It doesn't help that you are, you know, you're used to having quiet.

Yeah. It's probably very quiet in there most of the time. Outside of the cats,

like, you know, begging for food or something. But even then,

we could take the cat and, like, you're going to go sit in this room with the door shut.

No, I can't do that with her. I can't lock her in the garage.

If there's going to be a toilet slam, then that's going to really probably wake

you up, is what you're saying.

Yeah. And, yeah, I'm not used to that. Like we can't set the alarm.

Cats aren't slamming the toilet seats. No.

But they are, they are yowing sometimes. Sometimes, but I mean.

But that's the normal noise that we are used to. Yeah.

But also it's, it's their house. We're just living it. Right.

Like, but so also this is not a great time for us to be cohabitating the den.

Cause that's my, like where I go to chill. Well, not anymore.

Cause it's football season. Oh no. Oh, well it was official.

Like no Sunday. I'm like, no. persona you are not allowed in here but.

Like, I'm working on trivia, which is also in the den, because that's where

my computer is. And I have found out more about this dumbass HGTV show,

Maine Cabin Hunters or Clippers. Oh, man. That's what she's watching?

Well, that sounds like a hobby.

You can send her off to Maine. You'll never see her again. I understand watching.

Well, it's funny. I find it hilarious. She's watching home flipping shows for

houses she doesn't have and will never have.

Well, that's why that show's popular Because everyone's doing that But also,

this is the most dumbest of the dumb shows It's not even like you're recreating,

So we got this stove And we measured the stove And I did these measurements

And it was 93 inches We measured four times But this three-quarter inch trim It pushed it out enough

The stove don't fit no more So I don't know what we're going to do with the

stove Oh, they got the accents She probably has a good crush on that guy.

And the accent I don't know I just like, I don't find it entertaining to watch

shows where people are dealing with contractors.

It's, no, they're the, it's them. Oh, they're doing the work themselves.

It's not that they're, it's the,

so repetitive, like, so then we go to commercial break and it's the same.

Oh yeah. So we measured three times and it's like, oh, what do you got to do?

Well, we got to do different trim. Oh, you put the different trim in.

Oh, it sounds like a version of hell.

Oh, and then it's extreme, like the volume. I don't like any of those shows.

First of all, I like any of those shows. I don't like that TV channel or any

of the shows that are on it. But like it's the, and then it's the same dumb

clip repeated for like, Oh, we, what do we do? What do we do?

We want to put in a spiral staircase. We could put in a spiral staircase.

We went to code. So then we had to do a different staircase. And it's like,

Also, it's this fucking loud the entire time and the goddamn done.

Well, you can't. There's probably hearing issues.

We've actually told her because the first morning I'm like, the first day was

her birthday. So I'm like, hey, happy birthday, junior.

Yeah. And Leslie's like, did you hear him, mom? Huh?

Did you? She said, happy birthday, junior. And it's like, you need to get your

hearing checked. Yeah, I know. I know.

She's not doing that. She's got too much.

Too much going on business-wise. What was day one? How many days do you have to endure?

First day was Thursday, so we're six days in, and I've got... Oh, six days in.

I can't believe you're... And I've got 11... You seem relatively sane. 11 more to go.

11 more? Oh, my God. That's a lot. I'm not even hitting the halfway point.

And I know she's old, and like, Take some control of your fucking life So she's

not very mobile She can get around But you can tell when she's walking Because

you hear the shuffle of feet And then the.

Maybe send her back to school Send her back to school Go to the dorms You live

in the dorms You should just get a mic on her.

That's the thing It's so fucking boring No, I mean for the walking. You can't do that.

But also, she's hanging onto the walls, and I'm like, you had a cane. What happened to that?

Are you freezing to use it because it's going to make you older?

Apparently the cane broke, which I don't know how you do because it's a metal

cane with four feet. It's like, how did you break this?

They have a lot of canes around. Cane issues. Cane stores. No,

there's not. Is there a shortage of canes? I don't know.

I think the schoolhouse shop had a whole bin of them.

What shop? Today, well. One of them. I don't know which one.

Today, this morning was an interesting revelation. So I go to say goodbye to

her to make sure she knows that I'm leaving. I'm not wandering the whole,

not that she's dementiaed or anything, but like, hey, I'm leaving.

I'll see you eventually.

And I look at her and her eye is like, someone just beat the fuck out of her

or something. And I'm like, Jesus Christ, what happened to your eye?

Oh, I hit it on the cabinet. But it feels...

Jesus Christ. How did the cabinet just whiffed off into her?

I don't know, but I'm like, you had your hand on the cabinet. Oh, maybe it was open.

I don't... It could have just gently brushed her, and it will make a giant bruise when you're that age.

Any minor touching is going to... Like I said, she looked like Rocky Balboa

at the end of the first movie, right before he gets cut by Mick.

And all I do know is that she doesn't float like a butterfly,

but she sure looks like she got stung by a bee, because that was my first inclination,

is like, did you get stung? Because it's like,

Good Lord. It's been an interesting fucking experience. Did she go into the doctor for that?

No? No, just ice. Just ice. Okay, well, that's good.

Just ice. Well, we hope it gets better. We hope you survive.

11 days sounds like eons.

Yeah, only a few days. Maybe count the hours. No, that would be worse, probably.

Why would that be better? I don't know. Maybe you say like a week and a half.

That sounds better, right? No.

You know what will be better is when it's gone.

When it's over. So she decided to make a soup.

Oh, that sounds great. But you have to go and get all the stuff. Yeah, we had to go.

So there's that. Yeah, there's that. And she's not the best cook.

Sometimes it comes out good, but a lot of times this is very bland.

So I come home for lunch and scared the shit out of her because she's like,

what do you do are you sick what's going on i'm like once in a while i come

home for lunch because i'm close oh,

well before you leave can you get something off the top shelf i'm like okay

and then she's like um um you know uh i'm like does it have something to do with the soup,

yes so then she's like bay leaf bay i'm like okay so i dig through and of course

bay leaf you never use so it's at the back of the spice cabinet she's like oh

yeah this tastes like crap without the bay leaf And I'm like,

coming from someone who never even uses salt or pepper on any food.

So later in the evening, I find out we are missing like everything bagel spice.

Like Leslie's just like, did you throw it away? Like if you did,

that's fine. But she's like, oh, no, I used everything in there.

And I'm like, wait a second, what? Like you use the everything spice or you,

I think she took part of everything she could reach in the spice cabinet.

Oh my gosh. Oh, that's going to be a weird soup.

I don't even know. Well, did you find it ever? It's just gone? How was the soup?

That's like a chicken and dumpling soup. I had a few of the dumplings and they

were just okay. I did not partake in like the part of the liquid soup because I was just like, I don't.

I'm very weary of other people's cooking. Yeah. I'm surprised you even tried

the dumplings. They're usually pretty good. You have to like just pretend that

you're doing all the things.

Yeah, but it – yeah, and I know I have no patience and I just –,

Or you could just get other soup, put it in a bowl, save it in that soup.

Yeah, like pretend. Just to be nice. Take her out. Yeah.

Oh, this is delicious. And you guys got soup from Panera. She also bought like

these very thin pork chops.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Those are cheap.

I know. Well, yeah, because there's no meat. These are like if you printed the.

Bible on pork chops, how thin they are.

I know the way. If you fry those up, they'd be good. We have them right now,

and you're not frying them up. Those are not thin enough. You're not ever eating them.

Which, those have a bone in them. I don't want them. These don't.

But I'm like, okay, I can understand if you were making a sandwich,

you could kind of do some stuff. And I'm like, okay. And then we're like,

what are you going to make with those? Oh, I was going to bread them and put

cream of mushroom soup on them. Oh, yeah.

That's a thing. Is it a thing? Yeah, it's like an old-timey meal.

Old-timey meal. It sounds like you're making paste to me.

My mom would make that So maybe I'll shut up on that It's probably fine I mean I don't like it,

But like it's definitely a thing Yeah But yeah that like I want to teach her

how to use the TV But I'm like this is I don't feel like making a dummy manual

And then she still just don't get it And also like.

Does that encourage her to stay longer?

Oh no she's leaving There's a cut off Well let me put it this way One of us

is leaving November 1st Well I mean Godspeed Scramble Well we need to take a

little break here We're already,

A giant break So we'll be back in 2 in 2,

WSBR Super Beach Radio The best station between Rush and Ripley We love playing

music But right now we have to pay some bills WSBR Super Beach Radio.

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It's your boy Scramble here live at the Beach Box after the Scotty Stacy wedding reception.

Quite the reception, there was the hostess with the mostess and everything else.

Jerry is very proud of the fact that he hid tacos in an undisclosed location

that no one would ever find them.

A good event overall. The rain threatened and enforced, but we don't give a fuck.

Ain't no party like a Miller party because the Miller party don't stop.

Coming to an episode near you soon. Scramble out live from the Beach Box.

I did hide those tacos, but I remember now what had happened was I had to pay

extra because the tacos were gratis on the house.

But I got out there so late and they were cleaning up and I said,

I'll give you $20 to give me four tacos. They were phenomenal tacos, by the way.

And they did that. And then the lady, I guess, went into labor shortly after

that. Not my fault. No. False labor, actually.

Oh, false labor. Okay. So I was talking about said wedding afterwards.

Turns out that is my coach. Congrats,

by the way. Stacy Sizzle and Scotty Sizzle now. He took her name.

That was part of the agreement. Scotty Sizzle. Isn't it green up?

So it turns out I work her, or his, my co-worker, that is her brother who runs the food truck.

Oh, okay. So apparently it was just extremely bad gas and indigestion that she

had. Probably a lot of tacos.

Sometimes that'll happen.

Late stage pregnancy. I mean, she looked like she was ready to pop.

So did I after I ate those tacos, I'll tell you.

But it was a very nice event.

Kudos to Scottie and Stacey. very little memory of um it was cool because they

coming in on an empty stomach that was a gauntlet oh a weekend pancake whatever

that weekend oh yeah that was a four four nighter for us four day,

There's been so much shit going on lately. I kind of put it behind me already. I forgot what else.

Jerry Clemens played four times that week, I think, or something. That was the other week.

In Miller, though. They all run together.

I don't know. We had something Friday. The wedding was Saturday.

Sunday, we went to the Sox game in the rain. We didn't even see the game.

And then Monday was the golf outing. Oh, yeah.

Oh, God. Now I remember. I could not walk.

I don't think i've stood and i was a male i was a mailman for almost a decade

and that weekend i probably took adventure to say you might not be in the best

100 condition i at least 120 000 steps,

and like on my feet the whole time because like the party was kind of just the

standing you know they had picnic tables and i'm not there really wasn't sitting

well also they were it was raining so yeah yeah i don't remember sitting a single time that

um that Although I don't remember anything, so who can say.

We couldn't sit down at the game because it was raining, and so we were just

walking around the concourse.

Oh, that was the worst. Weren't you there like four hours? There's like a million

seats, but you can't sit in any of them. It was like a torture.

And then everyone that's at the game is not in the seat. Yeah,

so the concourse is just packed. Yeah, so it was like hard to get anywhere.

It was fun, though. I got to say.

And then it was cart path only for the golf outing. Yeah, cart path only.

Nail in the coffin. Nail in the coffin right there. I'm going to put this out there right now.

Don't ever, ever ask me to play golf again if it is cart path only. I am never doing that.

And Mike Danson, thank you for taking us golfing. And only half the day was cart path only.

But it wasn't that bad. But I lost...

I'm sorry I lost so many balls, but there were times that I just didn't even want to go look.

And the one time I did go look, it was a huge ass alligator.

I saw that thing. It was like from like right where I hit the ball.

It was like Peter Pan sized alligator.

With his mouth open. Yeah. Like I'm not going over there. Apparently they can't,

they don't sweat. I think that's how they cool down. Yeah. They cooled out.

But I'm like, why wouldn't they just get back in the water? Like, I mean, I don't know.

The water's probably warm. That's what someone, that's what one of my students

said. It's probably warm water. It's got to be cooler than the air.

That's what I thought. I don't know.

That's Florida, man. How do alligators work? Who knows? Florida does.

Yeah, I just figured you'd sit in the water with your eyes barely above freaking

everybody up. I have a picture of that, too.

But you can't really tell what it is, except that, yeah, it's an alligator.

I would have to imagine alligators get hit by a lot of golf balls when they're

just hanging out on the course. Oh, yeah, maybe. But yeah, it was so wet.

Maybe that's when they become radicalized and want to kill people. Shout out to the MBA CD.

It seemed like it was a very successful outing, although I will just donate.

We'll never have the final number. Yeah, or whatever. We will just.

If it's Carpath only, just have them to show a movie. Don't worry,

you're not invited back ever. Don't worry, you're not invited back ever.

You're not invited back ever. Oh, why? Because you're a whiner,

a pitcher and complainer and whiner. It was a beautiful event.

And you have no muscle tone.

Wow, wow. Damn. So maybe you need a chat GLP. I have muscle tone.

You need some chat GLP.

My feet were soaked, too. The whole commercial was going to be Jerry-themed.

You want to shut up and walk more, you fat fucking piece of shit?

I'm not helping you with your GL. I'm not helping you with your TPS.

I didn't think I was going to get murdered on this podcast, but you all heard.

Oh, come on. Come on. But there's been a lot of shit going on since the last

episode because our last one got deleted. But even since the derecho,

which no one ever needs to talk, but oh, do I have a story for you?

Speaking of someone staying in my house, so I had to get out of the house Friday night.

Oh, yeah, we saw a post. Oh, God, yeah. We were at the beach box,

which is a lovely place. Oh, we've already heard this story, actually.

You can tell it, too. But please tell it, because it's quite funny, quite comical.

So, obviously, I have unwanted guests, and I did not want to be there Friday

night, so I went to Beach Box, where there was a band playing,

the Healers, who were actually at Flamingo tonight.

Oh, yeah. It was awesome, though, because their little back garage,

they converted to a room.

I was wondering if they were going to do that. And they did that.

It's a cool spot. Was it packed? No, there was barely anyone there.

I just think it's that weird type of year.

So anyway, I'm bad. They have a bathroom back there. It was awesome.

But it was like a garage band, and they're literally just taking requests.

And I'm like, whatever you guys just fuck around with that I've been trying

to have fun with, play that shit.

So it was like a garage band in high school.

So anyway, I get a text. hey fyi the power's out because you know of course

the fucking power's out oh that's right you were one of the unlucky ones so

lost power for the wind from the windstorm yeah like just it was it was.

A there was a lot of wind yeah there was like 30 foot waves on yeah it was windy

i will give it that but anyway i'm like fake news we should be fine i have a

battery backup in the garage opener it's good for like a dozen open and closes.

It's always worked before so i I go from Beach Box.

I go to Flamingo. And at this point in the night, the last hour and a half,

I'm just beer and water, beer and water, just kind of, you know,

downshifting. I don't want to be hungover. So I get home.

Click the opener nothing go up to the panel nothing,

well so leslie latte said do you have a key and i'm like well i don't need a

key i don't have a key but i'll be fine so i try calling her,

because and she's on do not disturb but i'm like i know three times a favorite

will go through 11 times i tried calling her overall,

you can't pull her out of her drug-induced slumber i don't I have no idea,

if it's because, for whatever reason.

So it's now 1 a.m. after I've been sitting in the car trying to get inside.

And I'm like, well, I guess I'm sleeping in the car.

So I turn the car ignition on, turn the lights off, kick the seat back,

put the phone on my chest with the charger.

And I'm like, this is how the night's going. You turn the car on like you were

just going to sleep with your car on? Yeah. It was kind of cold.

I mean, it was 40 or 45 degrees out. That's right. It was chilly.

North wind if it would have been much warmer i would have been like fuck it

i'll just you know be fine but it was a little cool so finally 1 30 in the morning

the only reason i know that because i felt the phone ring on my chest she's

like where are you at i'm like i'm in the front yard,

she's like oh well i'll come unlock the door,

So thank God. But then, of course, finally the power came back on.

But that was in the middle of all that. I posted to Facebook.

I think my post was, hey, to 2026, go fuck yourself.

You whiny little obnoxious little bitch. And I know you're not even done yet.

Go fuck yourself twice because you're the shittiest year ever.

All true. All true. I'm so ready to put this all true.

But I was afraid that Facebook was going to come hunt me down because I just

verbally abused it 2020 to be fair was pretty fucking bad,

i mean we didn't have like a land hurricane then though like we just got to

stay home and that wasn't that bad people died well yeah i mean all those people

were dead let's imagine the double on,

scenario can you imagine covid and the Dreyquil.

Oh, man. Like, that would... People would... People...

So, like, my theory is that everyone's mind is broken after...

When did your power get restored, though? Because that's key. It went out...

I think it came on at like 7 p.m. thereabouts or somewhere. It went out about 9.30, I think.

Oh, 9.30. I think it came back 4.30, 5.30 in the morning.

Oh, okay. It did come back on, but a little too late, my friend.

A little too late, my friend.

Some of our neighbors were out for two and a half days. Yeah.

I mean, so it's not like luckily we were not out.

This older lady that I ran into walking down the Lakeshore Drive who just.

Was that when you rescued this Chuck Feller butterfly that we have? Yes.

We have a broken winged butterfly. I'm just holding on to this butterfly.

And I set it down on a flower thinking, okay, this will be its final resting spot.

But then this lady wanted to talk to me for like, I don't know,

forever about her power outage.

But she legit, like, you know, she has a big giant hole in her roof and winter's coming.

So she so she's out now concerned so and and like you said it was really cold

friday so i mean it's getting into the floors really cold uh or you know it

was really cold in her house and so,

she was frantically asking me if i i i'm like there's i i don't there's nothing

i could do for you lady you can recommend a um.

A repair person no it was like a.

She said, I don't even know. But, I mean, there was nothing.

We have luckily been able to find some reputable people.

Please message us if you are looking for reputable persons. Message Sandra over on.

No, but message us if you are looking for reputable repair people because we have been very lucky.

Speaking of your repairs, we had an event in your yard that is no longer available

to me. We had movie night, which was interesting because the wind decided to pick up that night.

A little bit. It wasn't bad, though. No, we're all good.

It was just annoying because a couple times we had to put the screen back down.

But we did show the Blues Brothers, and it ended up being a really nice night.

It was a nice night. The White Sox beat themselves to get knocked out.

So we had the Sox game on, and the Pope.

I don't know if I believe in Jesus now because the Pope couldn't make.

I think that Cleveland enlisted the work of the devil. Well,

they had that Joe Boo the one time. Joe Boo? Yeah, the Joe Boo from.

Like a ghost? Yeah, it's like a voodoo guy. No, it's like a voodoo guy.

And you gave him rum, and then he would help you win the baseball games.

Well, maybe it was Joe Boo's fault, but the White Sox set the record for most

strikeouts in postseason history of the MLB.

Yeah, just so everyone knows, because

a lot of people maybe don't watch baseball, strikeout is bad. Very.

So when you have a lot of them. And when you have the most in the history of

any series. And to put this in perspective for people who might not be baseball

fans, a perfect game is 27 outs. Yes.

The White Sox struck out 21 times.

Jerry Pancake once struck out

21 in a game himself. I'm going to listen to you. But also walked 12. Wow.

Threw a lot of pitches. They weren't concerned about that back when I was playing.

Well, the reason I think that the devil was involved is because the White Sox

lost, and then shortly thereafter, the Pope got lung cancer.

Oh, he has lung cancer? Yeah, he had a car. Oh, fuck. It is Satan.

Yeah. Or they had to take a piece of his longout. Jesus.

Or the guy that lives in the White House. He gave him cancer.

It was the greatest cantor ever. The Antichrist. Yeah. Oh. What else has been,

a lot of stuff's going on. Let's see.

Yeah. Oh, First Trivia Night. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Let's do a clip.

Oh, we have a clip. Oh, we got a clip? I was busier than an old man in a hardware store. You sure were.

In your sparkly jacket. Because it was another record attending,

what's the word I'm looking for? Record breaking attendance.

Yeah. All right, here we go. I was like WrestleMania III.

I don't remember what part of the night. Well, I do, actually. I'll just play it.

Coming to you live from the first night of trivia. You have whipped this crowd

into a frenzy, Josh Gramble, with your music round.

The crowd is going wild. You are rereading the scores right now,

and you have whipped this crowd into a frenzy.

A crowd into a frenzy.

A crowd into a frenzy. A crowd into a frenzy. As long as we beat trivia Newton-John, I don't give a shit.

So i don't really think my clip does it justice but it was,

instantly like the loudest it's ever been in there like when well there is a

couple a new team that is very loud is what i would say well but it was everyone

everyone was going nuts there was going wild old team new member,

who it is going wild yeah you know well also it was packed like we hit a goal

it was packed It was very crowded in there.

We had to move the art divider things. We had to move the art.

God forbid. No one's going to like that.

It won't be a problem this time because they are far away from our area.

Oh, perfect. Yeah, perfect. Maybe do smaller art during trivia.

That's not a thing. No one's doing that. Only 8x10s. And I will apologize to everyone out there.

We did expand our social media to Instagram and YouTube, but I have not gotten

the previous games' questions and answers up yet It would be cool to stream that. I don't know.

It would be. I have not gotten that far yet because then I would have to have

a camera on me and there's already enough.

Is it because you have Mother Latte living with you? No.

It's a lot of production. It's tough. It's tough.

Everything's hard. Get a camera and figure. There's a lot of other stuff I have

to figure out. Yeah. I like the fact that you put all your energies into the,

production and the questions more than...

How many more people can you get there? Not many. It would be kind of something,

if we could turn people away.

Do an online component or something. I've thought about that,

but I don't know if I want to deal with that headache. I mean,

we'll see. We'll see. I mean, it's been natural growth. Two nights.

Two nights from now. We'll find out.

And you didn't even have to do a shitty AI flyer to get people to come. Yeah.

Speaking of shitty AI flyers. What would have happened if you did a shitty black,

font with the same fonts AI flyer with your head really big?

So the only thing I used AI for is I did those to make the trivia logos for

the teams. Yeah, that didn't come out bad. I mean, I don't know.

I mean, I wasn't going for like Mona Lisa. I was just going for like- Bulk design.

Yeah, fun. And I think they, by the way, for those of you out there,

so cool shirts, you can purchase your trivia team logo shirts.

SocialShirts.com is still going. Has anybody purchased any?

Yes. Oh, really? Okay. Junior's Varsity? Varsity purchased five shirts.

Oh, they're going to be wearing them then. That's awesome. I don't know that

any of them play on a regular basis. I don't know who those people are.

Are those the only part of the Scramble collection that I've sold? Yes.

It was one of our dear friends that bought them, and I think that she's not

using them for trivia. I can't remember who that team is, but I suppose it doesn't matter.

They don't play very much. So yeah, the Scramble Collection is now live on So Cool Shirts.

There's some goofy stuff for my humor.

There's a few new designs that'll be coming up. If you want to get a trivia

team shirt, I think they're all like 19 bucks.

There's also other stuff on there. So if you buy two of them,

you get free shipping. Yeah.

Two or more. There's a lot of goofy stuff from my point of view of humor.

So, but yeah, take a look. So Cool Shirt's got a lot of good stuff.

Get yourself a Judge Jerry shirt. The Judge Jerry shirt is my personal fave.

I'm going to be purchasing one of my own. In fact, there's going to be a...

We should do that show. Judge? Oh, we have to do Judge Jerry.

But it will be strictly for faux pas.

Faux pas? Ooh, faux pas. Yeah, and like social violations only.

Oh, totally. Not any crimes or lawsuits.

Do you know anything about social violations? I don't want to get involved in lawsuits.

We know tons about social violations. Oh, yes. Like you fucking drive your stupid

4x4 on the beach and just sit next to other people.

Drop your shit. And they didn't ask.

Or your kids are out there trying to give foot massages to the adults.

All right, all right, all right. There's a ton of so many cases that we could be.

It would be great if you came down to the beach in a full judge's gown.

Also, I think we should have attorneys representing the people.

Who will those be? I don't know. You get a law issue, a law license to certain people here.

That can argue the case. Like Derek Donut's attorney. Derek Donut will just

probably light the courtroom on fire.

There's been so many instances where we could have used an impartial or me, partial,

You usually give pretty fair rulings regardless of your relationship to anyone involved. I don't know.

Not since he's been dubbed the meanest neighbor in Miller. Well,

we're not quite sure if that's you or me. Well, by the way, that's a shirt coming

to the Scramble Collections. Did we talk about that? We did not.

We should talk about that. We should absolutely talk about this.

Well, I think most people know about it at this point.

Well, but it doesn't hurt to put the word in the streets to see if we can't

get some and clues on who left this mean note.

So yes, I did finally take it up. We'll put it in the show notes.

We'll put a picture of it in the show notes.

All in Just Travia, we'll retweet it or retweet it or repost it.

Well, we're trying to get some handwriting samples currently.

But I will just say, if I can find

a picture of said note, which for some reason I can't. Oh, here it is.

To anyone who might have any information on someone who left the note on notebook paper.

It looks like wide rule, not college, if that makes any difference.

But it was written in very interesting. Whoever's writing these Y's is making

X's with weird swoops around them.

I feel like it's to throw us off the trail. So, quote...

They have a sign that says, just be kind, as sue several people in the neighborhood.

So on the back of this was. Which they got them from me. I gave them the signs.

So also, on the back of this, the pre-preface is, just be kind. Here's the note.

Yet you're the meanest neighbor in the community, exclamation point.

Side note. Have you read, double underline on the red, your sign at all, double question mark?

Yeah, like I've read this sign Indicates really, really A lot of anger Almost

like a Chandler Bing Have you even read the sign in your yard?

Yes, yes, thank you For putting the emphasis where it needs to be Maybe it was

Matthew Perry From the grave?

Have you even read the sign in your yard? I tried to do the whole thing Where

you shade Because it was two pages And the second page was blank Like the big

Lebowski Yeah, I tried to do the shading. Like someone angrily ripped out.

Like they went to rip out one sheet, but they were so angry that they accidentally

ripped out two. The only thing I could make out on the second sheet,

on the top, was Charlie's Angels.

I mean, who the fuck writes Charlie's Angels? That show hasn't been relevant.

So also, I can say, I'm pretty sure, just judging from the photo I took,

this was not like a spiral bound. I think it was a hard bound glued,

because I have a feeling it has the perforated edge.

Well, so, no, it was Ripper. It's Spiral. Oh, it is Spiral? It was Spiral, yeah.

Then I took a part, or I took a photo that was- It's definitely Spiral.

I don't think there were perforated- Wide ruled, so a big writer.

I don't think it was perforated like you could take off the Spiral scrap.

But whoever wrote this has very odd Ys, Ms, and Gs.

Because the Gs look like the Disney Ds. Whoever wrote this is a fucking psycho.

Yeah. Also, here's the thing, which is, or not, or not, maybe they're our friends.

Maybe somebody's just trying to get us in a... But this has been my issue since

day one with anything. If you have a criticism of me, bring it to my face.

I'm not outwardly mean to anyone. Initially, and again, it's been a weird journey

for me with this letter, but initially, I was just going to put it on Facebook

and be like, hey, whoever wrote this...

Who the fuck left this? Whoever left this, go fuck yourself.

No, I was going to say, whoever wrote this, you could have just came and released

your concern directly to us. Bring it to Judge Jerry, maybe.

Bring it to Judge Jerry. This isn't like Martin Luther pinning this to the door.

It would be firing squad.

If you have an issue, just be like, hey...

Because, honestly, it could be something completely misconstrued.

Like, who are you being mean to?

Jerry, everyone. I'm only actively mean to one person. You're a curmudgeon,

but it's not like you're out there.

No, there's only one person that I genuinely do not like in the neighborhood.

And I think I know who it is, but I don't think they would be.

We don't have to mention it. We don't have to give them any sunlight on their

miserable shit life. It could be anybody. It's open to everyone.

But either way now i have so immediately because i thought it was the funniest

fucking so you're a psycho sure,

first but also i thought it was the funniest fucking shit i've seen in a minute

that someone would i put it on my refrigerator write it for a bit because,

it just brought me joy every time i would go to the refrigerator and look at

it like someone actually did this i maybe they'll get like a trophy but now

i have retired it and i have but i have not gotten rid of it do

not get rid of it we're framing it yeah i was gonna frame it personally i want

i want to be like respond with said like another piece of notepaper like

yeah yes i have read my sign and i think i try to abide by it have you ever heard of endorsing,

question mark i think we could come up with a.

Well, I don't even know. Well, we've got some time. That's an idea,

though, to put a note back on the sign.

Because clearly whoever left it is walking past our house.

But also, I would want to put it in pink or day-glow pink paper.

Big, bold writing. Well, maybe we can project it on the back of the shed. Like the bat signal?

Yeah, because now that we have that new shed, it's really huge.

And we could just have it just like art.

All the time yeah like they're all the time yeah just there all the time um

it's the worst neighborhood of the year,

and then we'll put it on i don't know maybe we'll do like america's most wanted or whatever no,

i mean like but if you have any clues 219-200-4280 if this sounds familiar leave

an anonymous message we will not trace the call we will not trace the call or

turn your caller ID off and just leave a message.

Yeah, you can disguise your voice or whatever. Yeah, use a voice modulator. I know who it was.

It was the man down by the river. It was the man with one arm that lives on

Shelby. I mean, I don't know. The guy that killed Richard Kimball's wife?

He lives here in Miller now.

He's out. He or she can't have one arm because you would have had to like aggressively

grab, like rip those two sheets of notebook paper out of the notebook.

Oh, yeah. And someone else would have to be holding it. And I'm thinking also.

So it's a two-armed person.

And not a lefty, because the writing's not smeared. No.

Wow. Well, so that's just the end of our summer. That's how that ends.

Gold medal. We had Slurricane 26, and then we had... Meanest Neighbors.

Meanest Neighbors. Yeah, whoever wrote this wrote it in such the weirdest way.

Like, it's very big and swoopy and like... It's aggressive.

That's what it is. it's an angry scrawl that's what I mean.

If you haven't seen this note and you're listening just contact us and we'll

get it out to you we'll put it in the show notes also the Y's they look like serial killer,

actually there's like a fitness logo that's like a guy jumping kind of thing

and it kind of looks like that,

it's a mystery and a riddle wrapped in an inning not a conundrum.

Wrapped in an enigma. Yeah.

It's, uh, yeah. Unsolved mystery is what it is.

So far, unsolved. There's a lot of theories going around. Everybody's got theories.

What other unsolved things are going on?

That's probably about it, I guess. I don't know. Does that catch us off?

Oh, let's talk about trivia coming up here.

Yeah, by the time this comes out, it'll be October 23rd. Um...

This is the next trivia night. And then the one, the food game,

everything is based on food.

All the questions and answers. That's November. There's November.

Game three is November. It's the day after Thanksgiving. So everyone should

have it off. If you can make it out, cool. If not, no big deal.

Also coming in November.

You. Hope and Gravity. Yay. With a number of our neighbors.

Some first timers. Very local centric. Very exciting. Hope and Gravity opens November 13th.

Opening night, shockingly, almost sold out. I already got my tickets.

I saw your order come through, Scramble.

Yeah, so if you're sleeping on tickets, I would suggest you get on that website,

MillerCommunityTheatre.com, and buy some, because I don't know.

It's not even November yet. I think it's three weeks out.

It's almost November, though. I don't think these tickets are going to last

long because this one is not a musical. It's a pure on play.

It's just a play. Pure on play. And so it's about an elevator accident.

You don't have to. I wouldn't go into any more detail. Well,

that's all I'm saying. I want to go in cold just like I did into the deer hunter.

It's an elevator accident.

Yeah. So it's not similar to the deer hunter, but let's. It's a comedy and a tragedy.

Yeah, just like the deer hunter. But come on out for Pulp and Gravity.

Some of your neighbors are in it, and they are, I'm hearing the,

like, wonderful things. Reports are good.

I think tomorrow night they're doing a full run of the first act, so we're progressing.

How many acts? Just two. Okay, good.

I do have a clip about Jerry, and this is funny.

Middle of the Morning Madhouse, live from just outside the studios.

One, I'm a clairvoyant because I called the Mune home run on the top of the

fourth, which is one man on. Also, quote of the day, Joey Pancake,

last night I just wanted some peace and quiet, so I turned on The Deer Hunter.

Very traumatic. I didn't know what that movie was about. I just put it on cold. It's dark.

Not something to watch when you want to chill out. No. go socks.

Pancakes scramble out yeah that was uh i was trying to like take a break of

all the chaos because every year it's um jen pancake's birthday is like a frenzied ramp up of,

parties and activities that ends with getting too old for this shit we did the

movie night and then we traveled the next day again just like we did last year

oh and then someone forgot their license Oh,

that did We did want to talk about that By the way when that text came through

Was not the one I thought it was going to be So,

last year I was getting I said guess which one of us Forgot our license Thank

you Meg for giving me B12 shots to get through Last year,

This year we Left later Which was good Except that with all the storm related

stuff I had left my driver's license On our scanner,

and did not realize it until we were almost to the airport in South Bend to,

catch our flight to Florida. I don't know.

That's probably why my eye had been twitching and seeing stars for like the

whole week. You didn't hit him.

We did not have time to turn around and go back. I did just get back from the

eye doctor. My eyes are perfect.

Here's what I'll tell you about what had happened.

The government knows every fucking thing about every one of us. You do not.

Do not worry. For,

their low price of $45. For $45, all they did was, no, they just pull up a full

on, if you have a passport, they pull up a full on picture and all the details

in your passport in a secure thing, which makes me think,

why then? Do you have any need a passport? Yeah.

But why do we need to carry You know I don't think we will anymore Every time

you get on a plane now They just take your picture again But for a domestic flight,

They did that And it was I mean it took a little time But not Nearly as much

as you would think You wander up to security,

It's a South Bend airport So there's no one there So you walk up I don't have

my ID And they're like Well if you pay $45 dollars we can pull up your records i had already,

researched it on the way okay but we didn't know like i was like well i'm gonna

pay the 45 dollars it looks weird i don't know if i'm getting scammed or what,

sure enough you just show them the confirmation number and you sign a piece of.

You're verified.gov or something right or verify id.gov,

okay that's new it's a tsa thing i mean i was in a full i don't know i mean

obviously you can't do it to a foreign country not that much of a panic scramble

because i was going to florida fucking anyways yeah,

so trust me she's getting on that plane regardless i think it was my problem,

She was like Oh well maybe you can drive to Chicago Yeah drive to Chicago Get

on a flight out of there Meet us down there Jenny Pancake was turning around I'll see you in four days.

This is what happens When you're the meanest neighbor in the neighborhood I

contend this Meanest neighbor thing is an inside job,

Jen has adopted a new Handwriting She's the one that wrote it And she's talking

about me Trying to learn you a lesson.

Like the Scrooge Like the Scrooge The ghost of Christmas Please don't send ghosts

after me Because I'll just freak out And I'll have more mental problems And

I already do I don't want ghosts.

I hate ghosts I think I'm going to do that when I die If I get the option,

I'm going to haunt some people So this morning If that's a thing,

I'll haunt everyone I'm haunting old people because they're easy to fuck with from what I found out.

I'm scaring the shit out of my mother-in-law, not even trying.

You're not even a ghost. Just walking in the room.

This morning, I had something weird happen to me where I got up to go to the bathroom or whatever.

We have the butterfly that lives in the upstairs bathroom, so I have to come

all the way down here. No one's allowed in the bathroom. The Mr.

Mr. Butterfly because he's got broken wings.

I accidentally let a cat in there and then I'm like I don't want to be responsible

take these broken wings so I come down here I go to the bathroom and then I'm

like I'm just gonna lay on the couch for a bit,

So I like fall back asleep. And so I have this dream where I'm just working.

Like I've started working. I'm like, I've answered like six emails and done

like, I'm like, holy shit, I'm getting so much done.

And then I woke up and then I was like, fuck, I didn't get any of that done.

Like I was seriously like, I was like sitting at the computer.

Holy Jerry pancake. Yeah, I did a fucking hour and a half worth of work.

In this dream and I couldn't fucking I was like oh man well.

That's fucking sucks because I said I had to resend all six of those emails,

and do a bunch of reports that I had already done in my dream so that's my fucking life oh my god.

I didn't even have a fun dream where it was like a jump scare inception,

yeah it's like oh i worked for an hour and a half now i gotta get up and do

all that shit over again that i thought i got 10 hours because i remember thinking

in the dream i'm like oh man i'm getting a lot of shit done i can go out and

move some shit out of the great

out of the uh storage unit into the shed like i'll talk to those guys i gotta

say so far not a productive week even though we're back from fall break i mean

like i can't get back into the swing of it i don't want to work 12 hours a day,

as it turns out i don't want to work at all,

After being with the Dansons They're retired They play bingo today Good on you,

Like Jesus Christ I want it someday I want that life Someday That'll be my day

Upscale bingo Oh yeah You can win cash prizes With hardcore liquor drinks Yeah,

They send this photo With this bingo And it's like What fucking No trolls at

all No trolls No daubers No paper No figs No I'm like There's not an ashtray

in sight You're playing on like a fucking marble counter.

It's not Lake Station League of Bingo.

So you clearly have displayed evidence that you've been to a bingo hall before.

Well, I've seen some white trash bingo.

And this is not it. And they win cash down there. Which is as good as money.

Some places. According to Yogi Berra. Yeah. Oh, God. All right. All right.

Anything else? I think we're pretty caught up. We've got an hour.

We're caught up. We're caught up.

We're sorry that the last episode got deleted. Maybe we can try to get on a

better schedule. Who knows? We will.

Well, it's indoor season now. It's indoor. Yeah. So I thought we should come

up with some sort of Christmas special.

I don't know if we're going to do the Advent calendar again,

because that was a lot. That was a lot.

But it doesn't have to be just that. It can be something. We'll do something

Christmasy. No, it could be something special.

Someone's Christmas special Christmas judge.

Elf number three you've been found guilty of fucking dachshund in the ass maybe

we'll think about it I don't know people could send in their stories and I could

be like this person is in the wrong,

anonymous Christmas judge someone's got beef someone came to your house someone

came over for Christmas and they got fucking drunk and then they puked in your yard or whatever.

Shit, I've got those stories. They peed on something.

I mean... Pissed themselves. We can make... Yeah. Possibilities are...

Or like Josh Scrambles play that you were going to do where it was like you're

refereeing the Christmas. I'm still working on it. Well, maybe we'll do something

like that. I mean, we'll come up with something.

Anyway, if you do have any Christmas ideas or Christmas stories you would like, Judge Jerry to judge.

Give us a call or just tell us in person. Yeah, tell us in person or message

us on the facebook so cool podcast or insta uh or instagram or uh,

219-200-4280 we'll get you into consideration.

We'll let judge jerry mull it over if i think it's funny.