Advent 2025 E8 - Nut Sack to Bunghole...

A micro dose of smart-ass notes to listen while it snows,

december 8th and now another rant

from joshua scramble yeah

so we're at the holiday season and you know gifts are

a big thing if you're a friend of mine don't expect a gift i'm just

saying it right now like i'm not one of those

people that's like dedicated christmas gift like oh i gotta get

this person something and this person something like no i'm not

doing it i stopped a long time ago but at

the same time like if i'm out and about somewhere and i'm like oh shit that's

jen pancake i'll buy it for you and just be like here i saw this and it reminded

me of you that's what it should be about it should be kids jen pancake hasn't

got me a gift in 40 years no i I got Leslie Latte,

and I'm a thoughtful gift giver.

I gave Leslie Latte a very good gift two years ago, yet to use it.

Must not have been that good. No, she fucking cried when I gave it to her.

What was it? It was a fucking camera.

Like an old-timey camera? No, like a new good camera.

She's got to work into it. Give her some time. two years

find herself and like so a

couple years ago she bought a very nice camera for herself because

she likes to take photos and do the photography thing and i

think it was like a defective model because she looked

online like out of nowhere it would you would put in brand new batteries they'd

last 10 seconds and they were zapped and the camera wouldn't work and she looked

it up and i think it was just a defective unit of that model so she's like for

a year more than a year i was just like you know i really just wish i could

get a nice camera so one year.

I even looked around someone we knew mike what

do you use for your camera because you take really good photos she's like

this is what i use i'm like okay found something very similar

paid a very good amount of money for it that the money

counts i don't give a shit about that but but for

she was very happy because she's like oh man you know i've been saying this

i'm like well good like you know i'm like okay take your time two years later

it's been used once it probably is just taking her some time to adjust to all

the settings. There's a lot of buttons on those new cameras.

I would be overwhelmed. I'd be like, I would never touch it.

It's very difficult to buy anyone anything, because you can get whatever you want now.

It's not like someone has exclusive access to Amazon. Jerry Pancake,

you know why I don't buy you gifts.

Well, that's why I just buy whatever the fuck I want.

That's not why. I'm the same way. I am the same way. Remember that time I bought you a pair of jeans?

Oh, yeah. She bought me these skinny jeans. Yeah, don't ever do it.

I didn't buy them a skinny jeans. They were normal jeans.

Ladies, I'm just going to tell you this right now. And then I was like,

oh, they're a little too tight. And she's like, I'm never buying you anything ever.

Ladies, don't bite your head. And I have held strong. Held strong.

Yeah. Oh, wait. I got you a vacuum cleaner last year for your birthday.

You did. You did. Which is another childhood pancake.

Has he been vacuuming the house like a good wife now? No, that's a childhood.

He's a weird vacuum nut. All right. So my baby book is sitting over there. Mm-hmm.

And in my baby book, my mom doesn't write shit for, I don't know.

She writes initially right when she has me, all this bunch of stuff.

And then she doesn't write shit for two years.

Third year, she says, Jerry really likes to vacuum.

Maybe you just sucked. So they put a vacuum in my hand. But wait.

And like, I just loved it. I love making the marks.

And so it was a good gift. Probably a soothing sound. Yeah. I don't know.

The fuck I had a chaos. No clothes, though, right? Like, you should never buy.

No. No. Clothes are too personal. No, clothes are not too personal.

Because Leslie Latte will buy me some clothes once in a while.

Socoolshirts.com Socoolshirts, BOGO.

What I was going to say is some clothing is fine. Don't buy men pants.

It was a bad idea. I don't even know. I don't even know how to get pants anymore. Yeah, well.

That fit. You're not ever getting any pants. But no, as a guy,

personally, I don't think anyone should get another man pants.

They're either too tight on the top or too tight on the bottom. Your big little Jerry.

By the way, any of our fans look up the LBJ phone call. It's about his fucking big nuts.

No, it's a thing. Yeah, he talks about how big his nuts are.

Because it's actually a company around here. Like it's the. Really?

It's still going? That makes big nut jeans? Big nut jeans.

No, it's like, it's a pant company that was around here. I think it was. Yeah. It was like.

Was it Sanzibel? No. But it was like.

My dad had those. I wish they'd come back with those. It's a brand around here,

but if you do some digging, there's definitely a call out there on the internet

about him needing more nut room.

Yeah, he needed. His nuts were sagging quite a bit back then.

I did hear that. But it's probably because of the Vietnam. Yeah, well, you know.

You know, they should make pants with big ball sections. Just like Vietnam.

I'd appreciate that. Can.

Hello? Hello. Mr. Hager? Yes, this is Joe Hager.

Joe, is your father the one that makes clothes?

Yes, sir. We're all together. Y'all made me some real lightweight slacks that

he just made up on his own centimeter four months ago.

It's kind of a light brown and a light green, rather soft green and soft brown.

Now, I need about six pairs for summer wear.

I need about six pairs of wear around in the evening when I come in from work.

And I can send you a pass. I want them a half inch larger in the waist than they were before.

It's up to two or three inches of stuff left back in there so I can take them

up. I bury them 15 pounds a month.

So leave me at least two and a half, three inches in the back row and let them out or take them up.

I thought, make these a half inch bigger in the waist. Make the pockets at least an inch longer.

My money and my knife, everything fall out. We'll just...

Hello hello now another thing

the crotch down where your nuts hang it's always

a little too tight so when you make them up give me a inch that i can let out

there uh because they cut me they're just like riding a wire fence these are

almost these are the best that i've had anywhere in the united states but uh

when i gain a little weight that took me under there so believe me,

you never do have much margin there.

Seriously can't leave me about

an age from one of the zipper ends around under my back to my bunghole.

So I can lay it out there if I need to.

Be sure you've got the best zippers in them. These are good that I have.

And if you get those, tell me I would sure be grateful. Where would you like to fit? Quiet House.

You can go to SoCoolShirts.com, and they have some weird-ass shirts that you

might like for Christmas.

And you can give them to people, too. You can send them to people.

We have the ability to do that. So SoCoolShirts.com. Visit them early and often.