Advent 2025 E5 - No One Likes Your Christmas Story...

A micro-dose of smart-ass notes To listen while it snows,

December 5th So here's a topic very close to my heart around the holidays Favorite Christmas movie?

Least favorite Christmas movie?

Opinions Oh, favorite and least favorite? Like, what movie do you have to see

around the holidays and what movie do you never want to see again?

Well, I'll tell you right now, I don't have to see any of them.

I would prefer it that way.

However, I would pick Elf.

I love Will Ferrell. I don't care what anyone says. It's a good one. I like that one.

It's a good one because he's not being Will Ferrell for the most part.

It's just funny. It's a good holiday movie. When he eats those cotton balls,

I laugh every single time.

So apparently the spaghetti and syrup scene, it was actually spaghetti.

I don't like that. And it was impromptu.

Of course it was. Imprompt? Imprompt. He's a genius. Was not in the script.

All you Will Ferrell haters out there can suck it, because he's the funniest man on the planet.

He is very funny. I would like him to see do Elf in the character that he plays

on the Eastbound and Down.

Ashley Schaefer. Ashley Schaefer as Elf, I think, with the hair.

But anyway. My least favorite?

Ugh, toss up between.

Home Alone, and what's the other one that everyone loves that I... Christmas Story.

No, I'm fine with that one. Not a big fan of that one. Chevy Chase.

Oh, National Ipoon's Christmas Vacation. That's my favorite Christmas movie.

Hate it. That's my favorite Christmas movie, and stop slandering it.

A Christmas Story can fuck off in the ass.

It's the worst movie. I hate that kid.

I hate the dad I hate the stupid lamp I hate the mom I hate the house I hate

every fucking thing about A Christmas Story because I hate the 1950s fuck the

50s I don't care if you grew up there what about when the little piggy eats the mashed potatoes no.

I can go with him on that I do not like that movie and gasoline on that fire

I'm sure you had to be livid when TNT used to do the 24 hours of A Christmas

Story Jerry, fuck the dad in that movie.

The dad's a dick. Did Kira and Kyle like it?

Did they want to watch it all the time? No, they fucking like Elf and like normal good Christmas.

No, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is the best Christmas movie.

You just told me to stop slandering that. Leslie Vate hates that movie. Does she? Yeah.

Hell yeah. Well, Chibi Chase is a cocksucker. He's a cocksucker and not that funny.

I don't care. But so I know it's a heated debate.

And it's just a series of slapstick pranks and

I fucking hate slapstick pranks I love pranks but

I know this is a huge heated debate but

it's not Christmas until I see Hans Gruber fall

off the Nakatomi to die hard now that one I can

get behind it's not even a Christmas movie it is during Christmas regardless

what your views are I always have to watch it at Christmas just because one

it's just a great fucking movie it's a classic also I love can't go wrong with

Bruce Willis and those bare feet on shards of glass no but uh oh man.

I never used to like this movie growing up, but I never really saw it.

Oh, I forgot about Planes, Trains, and Autobills. Oh, that's a Thanksgiving

movie. That's a Thanksgiving movie.

So you have to watch it this weekend. Okay, never mind. So...

It's a wonderful life, and I have the most demented favorite part of it.

Like, you like it? I like the movie, but my favorite part is when he comes home,

like, everything is falling down around him, and he's dealt with 20 years of

dealing with his family's bullshit, and then comes home and yells at the family

and, like, starts throwing shit. I fucking love it.

It's my favorite part of that entire movie.

I fucking love that part so much.

Because this guy, for 20 years. Does his wife cry? just

taking it in the ass from potter this is

stupid family no his brother his brother no his brother him over yeah i'm gonna

keep this short because i could do a diatribe about this his brother him over

oh i'll keep it locked down you go to college and then this asshole goes to

college gets married like oh by the way george i'm not coming home,

you you piece of i just kissed that old man's ass for four years while you got

your degree and getting laid, and now I want to see the world,

and you're going to come home.

Doing a frat party, like the Revenge of the Nerds. You want to hear something crazy?

Sure. I don't know if I've ever seen that movie. Oh, you gotta watch it.

It's dark. I'm sure I have it. We should do a reenactment. Miller.

Miller to the Uniseed or a Christmas story. Yeah, we should read it. Shut the fuck up.

And that kid fucking killed that kid right now. Yeah, Zuzu, he should have thrown

her in the fucking river and drowned her ass.

So this one time I had this slam book.

I just recently told this story to somebody.

Like a poetry slam? No, no, no. Like it's like just a book. King of the slams?

Where it's like, and then it asks questions and then you put your answers in

and like you give it to your friends and everybody fills it up.

Was this a Mad Lib? But I gave it to my dad.

And he put it in his favorite holiday was Thanksgiving. Yeah.

Oh, no, his favorite Christmas movie was It's a Wonderful Life.

And I was like, how is that his favorite movie? I don't even know what that is.

Full disclosure, I never saw that movie for the first time until about a decade

ago with Leslie. Really? Yeah.

I don't like black and white. Thank you. I'm the same way.

Maybe it's an issue. Because they all talk real fast and they got to do all

the dialogue like this because there was nothing else they could do because

they didn't have special effects. And it was all just makeup and weird one-liners.

That was it for me. And then the eyebrows on the ladies.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like they draw this massive Sharpie. Or they're just hairy eyebrows.

A Christmas Carol, same thing. Thumbs down. Not watching that.

No, I never need to see that either.

Like, can we stop telling this fucking story? Let's talk about Scrooge.

I love that motherfucker. I will revisit that one.

I love that Scrooge motherfucker. You love Scrooge, the character?

Yeah. Oh, because you are. Well, I am Scrooge, really.

As we sit here. Yeah, watch that Scrooge McDuck. I don't want a fake tree or

a real tree. I think that. I don't want no tree at all. We got a white tree.

And that's what we put up now. All right. Dot trees. Back to. I like the Scrooge.

Yeah. I get that. That fits your personality. Don't pay. I'm trying to think

of any other movies that I either hate or don't hate.

But again, I hate all of them almost equally, except Elf. That's it.

There you go. and we'd like to mention a sponsor all in just trivia taking place

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