Advent 2025 E2 - Saved by the bells...

You a micro dose of smart ass notes to listen while it snows,

December 2nd. And now, an angry rant from Joshua Scramble for your Christmas enjoyment.

So I'm sure all of you out there in Radioland have heard this,

and it annoys the living piss out of me every time I run into it.

And it's already started pre-Christmas. It's all of a sudden,

you're going to the grocery store, you shut the door to your car,

and all of a sudden you hear that faint bell, ding, ding, ding,

ding, ding. And I know exactly what it is.

It's the lazy people, and I shouldn't call them lazy because they're volunteering,

but they're just, Jesus Christ. I don't know. Less old.

I think they're doing a great job if their job is to just stand there.

You walk up and all you hear is this incessant ringing of the bell.

Like, I don't know what marketing genius thought. I know how to put people to give us their money.

Ring this bell and annoy the shit out of them for a long time.

Isn't that a tiny Tim? It's aggressive.

Because sometimes an angel rings a bell. That's a wonderful life. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. But also story.

So I go old timey story pancake. It's not fun. I hate like I get that,

you know, people are less fortunate and they need help.

And it's the Salvation Army. I have zero issues with your organization.

I just hate your marketing campaign.

And it's even worse now because, do you know, they have like a digital like

sign. Well, they got a QR code. Yeah. So they don't have any.

Fuck QR codes. I'm sick of it. I can tell you, I do not support their organization

and don't care about it. Well, I don't support them, but I mean, it's, I don't know.

But the ringing of the bell, and also there's that incessant guilt.

You get the looks from those fuckers like, oh, you don't have 17 cents from the change.

I don't look at them. No change. I look down like I am. Especially in today's

digital. I don't have any cash ever.

Although every year, every year without fail, about 20th of December,

you hear the stories. But,

And another thing from the good side of the world, someone randomly put a $2

million coin in one of the buckets.

Yeah, exactly. It's like Captain Hook's treasure. Someone just randomly dropped it in there.

Don't let the president hear about that. It'll just take it.

There's pirates among us. Well, speaking of pirates, you're telling me someone's

looking through those buckets and not going, that's not a regular quarter.

I mean, maybe they're really good people, but here's what I would suggest that they do.

I got a suggestion. You remember we all got that U2 album that we didn't want with our iPhone?

So like instead of ringing bells outside of stores, just have an app that just

rings your phone constantly until you give them money.

Like your phone, you're just in the middle, you're asleep and it's a ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

And then you have to fucking pay them five dollars or

they just keep dinging the bell what about this or

fake coins oh just

slugs oh my god that sounds

like something jerry's dad would do oh yeah he was an electrician so he had

a bunch of slugs we used to try and use them on the gum machines and stuff and

they would get stuck in there or what i think a better idea is what What if the guy had a playlist,

just playing his own shit, and you paid him to change the song?

Yeah. Get creative.

I mean, back in the 1910s, a bell was probably good enough.

People were amused by it. And I'm sure at times there's good ones,

but in Northwest Indiana, it is the lowest.

What about a DJ? Put a DJ out there and have him just... Yeah,

that's actually not a bad idea. But it's better than just the lazy...

Because they look like drug addicts out there probably get jobs on the executive

board of the salvation army and get like million dollar salaries and we'll be

like you need to change it up so i ran out to the you're a dj now yeah true 85 year old man.

And you have to wear a marshmallow uh hood well it is a marshmallow world we

live in because like a dj gotta have an outfit so i need like a i need like

a stay puffed yeah the biggest dj is like the marshmallow is like the biggest

dj in the world or something right now,

what dj marshmallow i don't know what you're talking

about that sounds totally fake it's not fake that

sounds like a hallmark movie anyway i ran out to the lighthouse mall last friday

guess what right outside one of the shops bell ringer at a lighthouse mall what

what in the what world are we living in not a grocery store it was like outside

of the puma store or something,

Is there a whole Puma store?

There is. There is. Wow. Yeah. Do you have any Puma needs?

I like Puma. It was a good brand, but I think it was Kmart, to be honest.

You should hit them up. Their Black Friday sales going on right now.

Anyway, any of our fans out there, if you're a bell ringer, I'm sorry if you're

insulted, but I fucking hate it.

So find a better way to get money. Get fake coins. Slugs.

So we'd like to give a shout out to our sponsors of Indy Indy Bang Bang,

located right on Lake Street.

Please do some of your holiday shopping local and give them a visit.

They have awesome gifts, including cards and all kinds of fun things to do for the holidays.