Advent 2025 E12 - O'Tannebaum AKA O'Fire Hazard...

I might produce a smart-ass note to listen while it snows.

December 12th. So, Jerry Pancake, did you have a Christmas tree?

I hope you had Christmas trees when you were growing up. You had a fucked-up

childhood, so I don't know.

We did most of the time. Fake or real tree?

Uh we had real tree like i

think like the first couple christmases that

i can remember but then 100 fake so

did you guys do the whole we went and cut it down at a farm and the whole no

my dad just showed up with it on top of on top of a cutlass some year of a cutlass

right on top like not concerned about the paint or sap or anything getting on it And then,

yeah, like, just strap it with whatever string they would do there. Yeah.

But then I think...

My mom figured out that like it

was a fire hazard because they would just oh yeah they

would drink and stuff and they would forget to like put

water in the tree and then like back then everyone's smoking like no one is

like you had cigarettes where your whole life back in those times was filled

with smoke yeah all the time like it was crazy we got a beautiful tree don't

we it's insane I've seen that more houses didn't burn down in those times. Oh, it's shocking.

I can't believe that my grandparents would let my parents smoke, or anyone.

So we had fake trees after that, but they were not like the fake trees of today.

Like, it took, it might have taken three days to put that fucking tree down.

They used to be complicated. And they were just as flammable as the real tree. Yeah, who knew?

And they would burn and poison your lungs.

It's that high-calling petroleum they put in them little leaves.

And then we had these lights that bubbled.

Oh, bubble lights are awesome. But if you touched them, you could burn yourself. Lava.

No, they were. So bubble lights were kick ass.

They were fucking cool as fuck. Did you have them? Oh, fuck. The scrambles total.

When you saw that and the bubbles are going in your light. So they were about

yay high and they were expensive as fuck too.

Yeah. So there was a little heating element.

The bulb got really hot and they designed them to where they got hot enough

and they just bubbled. So the water was just boiling Oh yeah,

boiling I guess that's what it was This is wild You've never had those?

No, of course not Bubble lights kicked ass We had all of that shit Maybe we

did and I just didn't care And then we had the really Unsafe outside lights Like the bulbs Yeah.

We did have those maybe So we had good Christmases until the divorce,

and then it was kind of sad Christmases after that. Then it's just a TV dinner.

Then it's like my dad might have one of those Charlie Brown...

Fake trees that's like three feet tall. Wait, Scramble. What about you?

Fake or real? Fake tree. Always had a fake tree. Forever? Even your parents?

Yeah. So growing up, like when I was really, really young, I don't remember

the tree, but I know from about the time I was six or seven,

they invested in a fake tree and that's still the one they have.

They made them good back then. Well, they... Built to last. But yeah, fake tree.

I've never had a real one. I've gone to our friends, Megan...

You just don't want to mess around with it?

It's a pain in the ass, and they're not cheap anymore. Like,

have you bought a Christmas tree lately?

Like, a real one? We bought a fake one.

Like, a real one is pricey. Really? And you got to deal with getting it home,

setting it up, and then you got...

But Noah, to your point about them being a fire hazard, that is the,

like... I know people that save their Christmas tree until like the summer to

burn it. It is like an event.

Oh yeah. So one time, like I think Leslie Latte's sister missed the tree burning and cried.

Wow. Well, that's ridiculous. So when I became an adult and had my own family,

we did do the real tree for quite a, quite a bit, but it has gotten pricey. Yeah.

It, it was, it's cool because it smells good. You can't, you got to be careful with pets, too.

Yeah, and we didn't have any pets, so that was good.

But yeah, like you can't, you got to water that thing. Is anyone going to ask me? Yeah.

What happened with your fake tree or real tree?

Fake or real? Can I choose neither?

Did you have a tree? I mean, I'm just saying what I would prefer, and it's neither.

Well, what happened? I thought what did you have happen in your life my mom died no but,

we shouldn't laugh at that but like that's what it is we just had a Christmas

casket I didn't like it before a lot did you have a fake or real tree before your mom died never real,

Never real. My mom wasn't messing with that bullshit. No.

Not having it. Because you got to water it. She had all kinds of crazy.

And you're killing a fucking tree for no fucking reason.

I don't think it was that. I just think it was. Has humanity ever needed a reason to kill a tree?

Not even a single reason. Oh, my God.

This reminds me of something that I read, which disturbed me to no end.

I'm still thinking about it.

Apparently there were so many trees in this country that a squirrel could go

from Ohio to like Colorado and never touch the ground doesn't surprise me it's

fucking nuts hey squirrel joke.

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