Miller Morning Madhouse S2E3: Karmann Ghia Cutlass....

All you guys do is just sit up

there and talk about how fucking cool you are.

WSBR Super Beecher Radio, the best station between Rush and Ripley. Little moan, madhouse. Talking all that crazy energize. Pancake and the scramble.

Hey, everybody. It's your boy, Jerry Pancake, and welcome back to the Miller Morning Madhouse. It's been a bit. Today, I'm popping the hood on memory lane and taking you all back to my very first rides. A Carmen Gia, and a '77 Cutlass, that was basically a mobile couch with an ashtray.

We'll also check into the current state of my iRock. Yeah. The the iRock. Is it for sale? Kinda.

Maybe. Depends how cool you are and how much cash you have in your glove box. But before we roll too far, mark your calendars. The next wild night from the folks at Miller Community Theater is hitting the stage this weekend and next at the Marshall j Gardner Center. It's called mad woman's late night cabaret, and let me tell you, it's got more drama, more laughs, and more sequins than a divorce court on drag night.

Get your tickets, support the arts, and wear something sassy. And, of course, this episode is proudly sponsored by socoolshirts.com, the only place to get shirts that scream, I peaked in 87, and I'm fine with it. Free shipping over $25, and they'll even pretend your iRock is still fast. Let's do this. Welcome back to Miller Morning Man House.

I am Jerry Pancake here with my brother Josh Scramble. And my lovely wife

Jenny Pancake.

And I don't know what we're gonna talk about now.

Oh, I've got stuff. Trust me. I've

got stuff.

We've got stuff. What? Oh. We've got Bush. That's a revenge of the nerd line for all of you.

Never seen that movie. Watch it. There's a lot of nudity in it if you're a kid. And you wanna see nudity and sex in a movie and you can't do porno. Well, you probably can't porno just on your phone and stuff.

So maybe we should we

should announce to the listening audience, it is the end of an era here at the pan the International House of Pancake. The IROC is soon to be no longer

Well, you know, we're aggressively marketing the car, you know. It's it's an eighties icon.

Much like you. Yeah.

But we so it's it's sad and it's not getting any interest. Really?

By the way. Need that COVID car market back?

Apparently, times are tough, and this is one thing that I did not really know, Josh Scrammel. Most people, like, have to finance cars these days because they don't have

Any money.

Thousands of dollars to just pay for So that's there's a couple issues there.

You're not asking an unreasonable amount for that car.

No. It's actually less than what it is currently worth according to the insurance company. But if we don't get any interest, we will just keep it.

I mean

The one last summer.

It was it was Corvette summer.

The time That's where Jen's favorite favorite place.

Before it the transmission went out.

Yeah. But it does have a new transmission, and that was all fixed.

No. It it's

So if you're listening

and interested stronger than ever.

Yeah. It's very strong.

However, now, less of a hurry to sell it now that it actually works again.

Yeah. It doesn't shift badly.

Right. Tried to sell it to the transmission shop, but the guy said, oh, man, Jerry, like, I'm sure one of these guys would love it, but they all have, like, five or six cars that they're trying to fix up, you know, because they're, like, serially by like, he's like, they just buy a car.

It was too good of a deal.

Yeah. Oh, well, the transmission's out. I'll fix it in my spare time, and then none of them have spare time. So they all have, like, five or six cars. He's like, see all these Jeeps that are parked here?

And they're

like, yep.

And he's like, four of those are one of my mechanics. He keeps buying them and they're all broke.

They scramble.

It's the whatever they what do they call it? The shoemaker has no shoes or whatever that

saying I always call it the painter always has the shittiest looking houses because she's always painting everybody else's.

Everyone else's. So what and I don't think we've ever talked about that before, but what was your what was the first car that you ever had?

The 1996 Pontiac Grand Am four door in black. It was my mom's old company car, and that thing I called it Knight Rider, and it lasted forever. But then ironically, transmission went out.

As they do.

That was a cool car to have.

But it only had Is that '96?

It was a '96 Pontiac Grand.

Four cylinder, probably.

Four cylinder. That's pretty sweet. But ran like a champ until the transmission went out, but it only had a 167

pounds. Catch on fire.

I was selling those at $19.96. Do you believe that? That's how weird. Like, that's his first car, and I was old enough to sell them brand new.

It was yeah. It was my mom's company car.

I can't even picture it because I don't know

about great care of it. It was black with tan interior.

It was a Pontiac what?

Grand Am.

It's like it's was boxy.

That was the model after the boxy years.

Oh, it was the roundy. It was the roundy one. Yeah. An old Zechiva, which was which which I actually sold two. Those were roundy.

Yeah.

I actually love I love this car so much. I bought two more after it because Well, the one went out, and then I bought a '97, which didn't last long because and then I bought a red one that I drove for quite a while, and then a tree fell on it the day that the Hawks won the Stanley Cup the second time? It was game six.

Wow. That seems I

it was my dad's sixtieth birthday weekend, and I remember, like

like Perfect storm.

Well, ironically, it was a storm that killed it because a storm came through, fell on it, and tore the bumper off, but I drove it another six months because I'm like, fuck it. I don't need a bumper.

Who does?

It was kind of

a I mean, you don't need one until you've Until you need it. Rammed into.

It was kind of a hoop dee there for a minute. I won't lie.

Well, I mean, we've all had them.

We've all had some hoop dees.

Pancake. Yeah. And your first car well,

my

assorted past of cars.

I mean, we had a lot of first cars. The first car that I actually bought was a 1971 Carmen Gia. Oh,

Deep coat. Volkswagen. Those are,

you know,

those are worth some giant money now. There's a big Carmen Right.

It's it's but it's so I bought it for Christopher Robin of the So Cool podcast, who was going to use it to run away from his home.

So it was a little at 16. Literally an escape vehicle.

And I we I was 15 years old. I did not have a driver's license. My best friend Angelo had one, and we drove to Hegwish to buy this car, and it was rusted to shit, but it ran, you know, fairly well. But it was a it was a manual transmission.

Now, that sounds like an equalizer in

the Back in the back in the olden times, we had drivers that at school, but we had it with, you know, automatic transmission cars. And, but Angelo and I had gone to the library and researched how to drive a manual transmission car.

I love that you looked up rental library.

I mean, that's what you that's just what you did.

No Internets, kids.

And no one's just

shocked that, like, no one's dead. Like, here's how you do it.

He was didn't

have dads. We didn't have dads at home at

the Did anybody have a tractor or a full camper?

No. So Angelo was fairly confident that he could drive the car, and then we'd get it back to the neighborhood, and then all of us would learn how to drive stick on it.

Then all of you got one lash from the And then Christopher

Robin would run successfully run away.

And then Christopher Robin, who also did not know how to drive a manual transmission, would somehow get the car and then run away and his life would be happy. But I think he wanted to go to Saint Louis. Don't ask me why. That's a whole other Judy

Garland a chick. There was chick.

Yeah. Maybe a chick, but he liked the the Big Arch thing, whatever that thing is. The Saint Louis Arch? Yeah. He liked that.

Seemed like that was the thing. And, anyway, so we bought the car, and then we drove the wrong way because back then, you just had a map. You're going the wrong way. It got dark, and we ended up in Altgelt Gardens. I don't know if anybody has ever heard of that.

Never.

Barack Obama, that was his first when he was a public His first public office? No. He he was like an activist or whatever, and he he volunteered in Altgeld Gardens. It's a housing project project that is near Hegwish, but it's a it's a bad, like, neighborhood. So we end up there in this Carmen Gia, and In the me of cheapest cars.

My 13 year old brother, and my friend Angelo, and and Angelo's sister is following us because someone had to drive us to buy the car. Right? And so Angelo, we realized I'm like, we're going the wrong way. You gotta turn around, pull into this barbecue pit place. It was called Saul's barbecue, and he stalled the car out.

He stalled the car out in Saul's barbecue parking lot. It was probably ten at night by that time, And we're sitting there, and we're trying to figure out, like, oh, we could try and push start it or jump it, and the cops were

have keys?

He stalled the car out, and it wouldn't restart because it Okay. Needed like an alternator turns out or alternator Oh, no. Or whatever. And so the battery was dead. And the cops come Looking at four white kids.

And they're like, get out of here.

Just leave the car, man.

And, we're like, no, this we bought this car for our friend. We gotta get it home. And they're like, you need to get out of here right now because this is a bad place, you know, and there's all these people, like, was very it was a barbecue place, but it was like everyone's hanging out there type of place.

Barbecue and some weed.

Yeah. Well, I don't know what they were doing, but so Barbecue in a fuck shack.

So

the cops are like, you need to get out of here, and then come back during the day, and we're like, well, what what's gonna happen to the car? And they're like, no one in this neighborhood is gonna touch that fucking car. It's a Volkswagen car car.

They're not really in

And we had paid $375 for the car total.

Well, accounting for inflation, that does matter.

So that's the story. So anyway, we steal my mom's car the next night. We push it out of the garage. We open the garage like one inch at a time, then we push it out to the street, start to steal the car. And again, as we get there, you know, because it's night, we had to wait till my mom went to sleep.

So we're there and we're we're jumping the car. Oh, this was a Carmen

this was a Carmen Gia rescue mission?

Yeah. And the cops come again, and they're like corner. They're like, we just saw you guys last night. We told you to come back during the day. And they're like, alright.

We'll stay here. Get this car out of here and drive that way to your to your to your Frankfurt or wherever you live. And so yeah. And then what happened after that, I know this is a long story. We drove that around.

Like, I parked it at one of my friend's houses. She was a girl.

Wouldn't know that you had.

And, you know, he didn't. Pussy. And so we just drove the car around, and we

Made amends.

Lived in a three flat. So we had, a tenant below us.

Why did he wanna run away?

I don't know.

I know it's irrelevant, I guess, but

Her name was Mary Cardi. I shouldn't use last names, but she's probably

edit that out.

She's not alive probably anymore. But as me and my brother me and my brother brother are having a great time alive. Me and my brother are having a great time driving this thing around. We're going all over the place, going to parties and stuff. And the one day, you know, this is a very, very unusual car at that time.

Mean, it's unusual. Very few of them. So this one of our tenants is pulling out of the road that we lived on onto Route 30, and she just locked eyes with me in that car. Like, she knew exactly who it was. She told my mom.

My mom had the cops come, of course, because she would just call the cops on us all the time because she's a bad mom. And they and then they just towed the car, and then Christopher Robin was just out out his money. He's still mad at me today probably for that, so we'll have to talk to him about it.

Where, where he just had that money?

Yeah. He was rich. Oh, he

was rich. He was a rich kid. Like, they went to the movies on Sundays. A rich kid.

I was asking why Why

you wanna

come and get out. Yeah.

Why do

you wanna run away if you're rich?

He was in a horrible Baptist school. Like, they hit they hit him with the paddle or whatever. Do they

hit him with

the hind? At this price point.

They can't hit at that Baptist school.

WSBR Super Beach Radio, the best station between Rush and Ridley. We love playing music, but right now, we have to pay some bills.

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Pass our classic '76 Corvette and watch out for our fleet of caravan. Pick up a hot dog from vintage African American sales manager Sam Cloud and ask the man to immediately see the wizard.

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But that my first real car my first car when I was legally able to drive was a Cutlass that was given to me by my dad because he lost his driver's license because he had too many alcohol related Infractions. Infractions. So you became the chauffeur. And there's a story behind that. He gave the car to me, and we didn't really I didn't retitle it or anything.

I have the same exact name. Yeah. Gerald Pancake Junior. And, so I did you know, it was unnecessary for yeah. You know me.

It was unnecessary for me to get new license plates. I was like, oh, this is very convenient. He's just gonna,

you know We show you heavy age restriction on your device. Give me this cutlass.

It was a black 1977 Cutlass. Wow. Fairly nice car, actually. Yeah. So I got pulled over because when they run the plane, know, it's like this guy's license is suspended, you know.

Did they have schemaads? They had the schemaads.

And I get pulled over in Tinley Park, and they they're like like, they come up with the the guy comes up with, like, his gun out. Oh, shit. And I'm like, oh, man. I don't know what my dad's been into.

There's a dead hooker.

And and he's and so I give him my license and he's like, oh, well, you know, this car is still registered to your dad and his license is revoked. So that's why we pulled you over. Is it okay if I look through the car? And I'm like, yeah, I I'm not doing anything or whatever. How old were you?

16.

So at that point, you kinda really don't have much of a choice.

No. I I mean, I I didn't wanna get a ticket for sure. I knew that.

Well, if you say no

And I didn't have, like, I didn't have drugs or booze in there for once.

Not in the car, but maybe in your system.

Or a margarita blender.

Yeah. Or a margarita blender, which we did have one time. But so he's like, okay, can you open the trunk? So I go to the back and open the trunk. And as soon as I open the trunk, I'm like, I made a huge mistake.

My dad had left like a shotgun in the trunk.

Of course, he did.

And I'm like, swear I told the cop. I am like, I swear to God that's my dad's gun. And he just forgot that it was in there. And the cop took the gun, and he's like, I know your dad, and I will get it back to him. And that's all that happened.

It was kind of a but I was terrified. Like, I I wasn't around guns. Well, this my dad had

them, This is still kind of the era like if, you know, you were drunk driving and the cop knew you, they would they would follow you

home. Yeah. Yeah. The mid eighties, mid to late eighties.

The end of that era.

Yeah. The mid to I mean, Christopher Robin had some episodes during that time, and and I as well where yeah. It was like that. If you caught a cop when you were drinking and driving back then, and they were, like, within, let's say, I don't know, thirty minutes or an hour before their shift was gonna end Yeah. They are not fucking with you.

Don't wanna fill out the paperwork. They don't care because they're gonna paperwork. They're like, oh, man. I'm I need to get to the bar. You

know? Because the cops I don't know if anybody knows this about cops,

but, like, cops have problems too with alcohol and drugs. Like, it's not just normal people.

It's universal.

Yeah. Universal because they're actually people. So Have you ever wanted to fuck a car?

Isn't your father's old mobile.

Alright, folks. That's it for today's episode of the Miller morning madhouse. Big thanks to our sponsors, So Cool Shirts, where bad decisions become great fashion. Check them out for your next questionable T shirt. And don't forget, I'll ingest trivia with Josh scramble hosted at the Marshall j Gardner Center.

It's the only trivia night where the questions are just as unpredictable as the answers. Join us if you dare. And a shout out to the Miller Community Theater, also at the Marshall j Gardner Center, where the local stars shine bright. Big thanks to the MBACD for hosting these awesome events and making Miller Beach the place to be. Thanks for hanging out with us, Miller Beach.

We will be back next Sunday, hopefully, with a brand new episode. That is if we are not too hungover. No promises. But stay cool, stay crazy, and keep supporting the madhouse. Catch you next time.

All you guys do is just sit up

there and talk about how fucking cool you are.

Bam's a bam. What's a bam? Well, you wouldn't even know.