Miller Morning Madhouse S1E10: Deny Defend Depose...
Game begin.
Speaker 2:All you guys do is just sit up
Speaker 3:there and talk about how fucking cool you are.
Speaker 4:WSBR Super Beach Radio, the best station between Rush and Ripley.
Speaker 5:Dolly's Place near Salta's house of ill fame. And I'm just I'm just going by that to mean a whorehouse or a, like, a brothel. Oh, yeah. Right? Panama, same as the Van Halen song.
Speaker 5:1901 Washington Street, also a whorehouse, gambling, and liquor. So, apparently, at some of these whorehouses or sorry, Elizabeth Benedict. What would you call them nowadays? Like, a brothel, a prostitution home.
Speaker 6:I don't really know what the right thing to say is, but, like, an escort house?
Speaker 4:Talking all that crazy energize. Pancake and the scramble. Audio breakfast with your favorite
Speaker 5:Hey, everybody. Welcome back. This episode brought to you by Soco shirts. And all in just trivia, the last game of the season is, April 25. That's a Friday, I think.
Speaker 5:Yeah. It is. And the Miller Community Theater, do not miss the twenty fifth annual Putnam County Spelling Bee tickets for next weekend. Still some available, but get them now. See the show notes for details.
Speaker 1:Welcome back, all you Mary Miller Madhouse listeners. Jerry Pancake, I do have to ask you. Look extra rundown today.
Speaker 5:Oh, man. Has been a day.
Speaker 6:More than the usual amount of rundown.
Speaker 5:I mean, I am rundown like you if I was, like, a neighborhood, oh, I'd be here like Gary. Sorry. Sorry, guys. Sorry. We have a beautiful home.
Speaker 5:But, no, I'm extra worn out today because I was deposed. I don't know if anybody that's not a sexual thing or anything. I wasn't like it wasn't like a rape or anything like that, but
Speaker 6:Mind rape.
Speaker 5:Yeah. There was a lot of things that I had to go through, and I just wanted to tell you, Josh scrambled, about one question that I was asked and the answer that I gave, which is a true answer.
Speaker 1:I can only imagine what answer what question it'd be because they can ask you anything.
Speaker 5:They can ask you anything and you have to answer, which is You are under oath.
Speaker 6:Let me let me add just one bit of context here. So Scramble or I'm sorry. Pancake has been diligently working on gathering all of his paperwork this week and, like, all of these things that he's needed for this. He's, you know, compiled all his records, and he's doing all kinds of spreadsheets spreadsheets the likes of which no one's ever seen.
Speaker 1:I believe they they call it the discovery period.
Speaker 5:I'm doing pivot tables, and that's very advanced.
Speaker 6:Tables. I don't even know
Speaker 5:what those are. Advanced. It's easier to do now than it was ten years So
Speaker 6:so pancake, very prepared for this
Speaker 5:Very extremely prepared.
Speaker 6:Be composed.
Speaker 5:And, you know, went through all this documentation one piece at a time, itemized all the transactions.
Speaker 6:Do we need to say what this is about? No. Context? No?
Speaker 5:No. I don't think so. It's a fight that we've been doing now for almost six years. Oh. And so it's gotten down to, like, we're almost at the end.
Speaker 5:In any case
Speaker 1:Nothing criminal, Jerry. It's
Speaker 5:not to tell anybody who No. In any case, the plaintiffs we are the defendants in this lawsuit, but the plaintiff's attorney was deposing me today and he asked me, you know, why do you think my client would not have any records to back up her contentions? And I said, because she ate them. And he asked me to elaborate and clarify on my answer, and I said, at one point, she was super worried that someone was going to steal her identity. That point lasted about nine years, and she refused to purchase a shredder so or burn the they they could burn it.
Speaker 5:You could light it on fire in a fire pit.
Speaker 1:Right? Or a grill.
Speaker 5:Everybody Or a grill? Yeah. Your grill, you they did that in Breaking Bad. Right?
Speaker 6:Anything. Dig a hole.
Speaker 7:Burn it.
Speaker 5:Yeah. Dig a hole. Throw it in the ground.
Speaker 6:Doesn't trust a fire. Doesn't trust a fire. She
Speaker 5:ate it.
Speaker 6:She just ate it.
Speaker 5:Wait. And I had to I had to repeat myself three
Speaker 8:times, and
Speaker 5:he said, you know, this isn't a joke. And I said, I saw it. She bragged about it.
Speaker 1:So, like, she she gets a bank statement, you know, puts
Speaker 5:it over hate all of her bank statements for a long period of time. So I was really confident because Yeah.
Speaker 1:So she
Speaker 5:so she literally got a purse
Speaker 1:statement and made a deposit in herself with the bank statement. Yes.
Speaker 6:I I I'm trying to think, like, would you just tear it up into tiny pieces and sprinkle it on, like, oatmeal or something? Yes. Or
Speaker 5:She'd have a big couple cigarettes after she ate that.
Speaker 1:I mean,
Speaker 5:she didn't have to cook that night, I guess. It's pretty. But, yeah. So that was one of the wild Yeah.
Speaker 1:You can. Trees. Does
Speaker 6:it come right out? So because then that would be,
Speaker 1:you know,
Speaker 6:still a threat.
Speaker 1:You better chew thoroughly because no one wants a paper cut asshole.
Speaker 5:And I know they put a lot of chemicals in that paper nowadays. It's not like back in the olden times where you were just, like, shaving a tree and making paper out of it or whatever. I don't know how they make paper.
Speaker 6:I just have to say that that is the most craven, lunatic thing I've ever heard in my life. I was shocked. And Jerry just said it like it was supposed to be a normal thing.
Speaker 5:Yeah. Like, they thought I was joking, and I was not.
Speaker 1:I've got this scene in my head, and I'm sure it's not true, but it's making me laugh. Said person walks into a pank, cashes a jar, makes
Speaker 6:Here's your
Speaker 1:Here's your deposit. Here's your receipt.
Speaker 5:Yep. Can I get some tartar sauce?
Speaker 6:You can dip it in some tartar sauce.
Speaker 5:Salsa? Do you guys have salsa for eating the paper? But, yeah, that was a true thing that had happened to me today.
Speaker 7:I'm like, how
Speaker 6:do you not lead with this to your lawyer to establish?
Speaker 5:Our lawyer thought I was joking as well.
Speaker 6:No. I mean, but you should have said, oh, by the way, I or let me just start off by saying this lady eats her own bank statements.
Speaker 5:It was very wild. And then
Speaker 6:it could have saved a lot of time.
Speaker 5:Yeah. She doesn't she's never gonna have anything to back up her contentions because she ate them all.
Speaker 7:She and I
Speaker 5:was very matter it was disturbing how matter of fact I said it, I think, which is really
Speaker 6:It was just disturbing.
Speaker 5:And and and the lady is watching this as well.
Speaker 1:The judge or her?
Speaker 5:Her. The eater. Eater of the bank statements. Understand. And I I think try to deny it?
Speaker 5:No. Well, you can't. You're not supposed to Okay.
Speaker 1:She's there. You can't.
Speaker 6:Did you see her lips moving when when you
Speaker 5:said No. They did cut to her once and she was smoking a cigarette, like, sitting there, which was very weird and bad. So, yeah, that's why I'm tired.
Speaker 8:How how did you know that?
Speaker 1:Although after seeing so much of dealing that it's that that humor is gone.
Speaker 5:Well, I know is that all I know that is her attorney just, like, he was exasperated by the time I was done with with explaining what happened to follow-up questions? Like, he
Speaker 1:asked three follow-up like, was
Speaker 9:it just like, are you sure you saw this?
Speaker 5:Or He did not ask about the eating paper at all after that, after the first three times that I tried to clarify it. And I'm like, you can ask her. She's not gonna deny that. She was proud of it. She told us a lot about it.
Speaker 6:I can't I just can't so that's it. Okay. Let's in my mind, I'm thinking, okay. Like, I'm I'm really worried about identity theft, which, by the way, I'm not. Steal my identity today.
Speaker 5:And, anyway, please. I think maybe someone will do something good with mine.
Speaker 6:Well, but
Speaker 5:Like, you know, like, maybe they'll be successful, steal my identity.
Speaker 6:I'm instead of fire, I'm going to just eat the the statements.
Speaker 5:Or just buy a shredder at
Speaker 6:home. Me, I would be like Office Depot. This is something I'm gonna do in secret because I'm I I don't want anyone to know that I'm this crazy Yeah. And I'm going to just eat.
Speaker 5:No. She did it right out in the open in front of
Speaker 6:right out in the open.
Speaker 5:So Proud of it.
Speaker 6:I I mean, you should have led with that.
Speaker 5:Well, there were there's a lot of choices to lead with stuff with the craziness that was going on.
Speaker 6:So That's true. Cowboy catheters. RIP.
Speaker 5:You don't wanna know what that is and maybe in a later episode, but we are
Speaker 6:Anyone out there in Miller Motte? Was that
Speaker 1:what they were called? Cowboy catheters? Catheters. I hear the word catheter, and it makes me cringe.
Speaker 5:Yep. These, you don't have to put anything in. It's just a it's just a condom.
Speaker 1:It's just
Speaker 6:a condom with a rubber band.
Speaker 5:Cowboyscatheters.com. Where everything's bigger in Texas. We're gonna need a new commercial. It's just a cath it's just a rubber and, like, a condom. I just I With extra room so you can piss in it.
Speaker 1:So you know how some people hate certain words, and I never thought I had a word that I couldn't Consider? Yeah. Like, some people hate moist. Catheter.
Speaker 5:I hate that word too. Makes my dick hurt.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah. No. Catheter makes my dick hurt just thinking about it. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 6:No one wants a catheter.
Speaker 1:Oh. Unless it's a
Speaker 6:cowboy catheter.
Speaker 1:Some fucked up motherfuckers out there. They're like, oh, catheter. Yeah.
Speaker 5:They got those cowboy catheters at romantics. Heard.
Speaker 6:I can't even
Speaker 1:I'd rather eat my bank statement than hear that word again.
Speaker 6:I wanna go further with the cowboy catheter, but there's no need. That's enough.
Speaker 5:That is enough. It's disgusting. You are correct.
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Speaker 5:Well, it was height of the puberty for mister pancake.
Speaker 1:You couldn't So you're saying we shouldn't
Speaker 5:be voice was changing to this sexy
Speaker 6:So should
Speaker 5:peep tone. Peach?
Speaker 1:Princess peach.
Speaker 6:Princess peach? Wasn't doing it for you, Jared. No. You can't.
Speaker 1:You can
Speaker 6:get your racks off. You can jack off to Blanche, but Princess Peach is just where you draw the She was
Speaker 1:too young. Too young.
Speaker 5:No one's jacking off to eight bit.
Speaker 6:Taylor Swift, the sexy kid. I don't think there's a
Speaker 5:There's a eight bit jack off. Though there's Kong? I don't even know. Yeah. It's just the same lady.
Speaker 5:Isn't it the same lady? Like, the whole Mario thing is based on Donkey Kong. Yeah. That's I liked it. Donkey Kong was my favorite.
Speaker 5:Is that Peach? Yeah. Oh, okay. So it's the same lady.
Speaker 6:But I meant like a like Donkey Kong with a wig on. So Oh.
Speaker 7:How is
Speaker 1:it like all we referenced so many,
Speaker 5:like God. Like a bear. No. Wasn't. But he's like Donkey Kong.
Speaker 6:Am I just making that up? I can picture it
Speaker 1:in my There was missus Pac Man, but I don't think there was a missus
Speaker 5:Donkey This is Donkey Kong was was the peach lady.
Speaker 6:If if anyone has this bit of trivia, please write in and or call
Speaker 5:me. Yeah. You could write in and and send us a letter to PO Box.
Speaker 6:You can you can message us on So Cool Podcast, Facebook, whatever, however that works.
Speaker 5:This is Donkey Kong. No. You you can PO Box 696969
Speaker 6:Don't send it to that
Speaker 5:Gary, Indiana 46403.
Speaker 6:Am I right?
Speaker 5:There's a lady Donkey Kong?
Speaker 1:So there was a this is fucked up. So you know how, like, on Super Nintendo, they had Donkey Kong Country.
Speaker 5:I don't know how.
Speaker 1:So there was a grandma Donkey Kong.
Speaker 6:Oh my.
Speaker 1:But here's
Speaker 5:she has the dirty A gilf.
Speaker 1:The dirtiest fucking name ever. A gilf. Just but here's Kilm. It's a great name for your dick if you're old. Wrinkly Kong.
Speaker 5:Oh. What? Wrinkly Kong.
Speaker 6:It was wrinkly Kong.
Speaker 1:Wrinkly Kong.
Speaker 5:I got a wrinkly Kong in my pants right now.
Speaker 8:My daughter
Speaker 1:Jesus. Look at it. She's got a shawl and a library book.
Speaker 5:None of you can see this because this is a audio only That's
Speaker 6:not what I pictured.
Speaker 1:She does
Speaker 5:not if you fucked her, she would die probably. She she looks like a cute old grandma.
Speaker 6:She would handle you no problem, Jerry's handcake.
Speaker 5:Very experienced. Yeah. Very experienced. She'd she'd whip you around and handle you. Peg me with her Donkey
Speaker 6:handle you.
Speaker 5:Peg me with her With
Speaker 7:her cane?
Speaker 5:Donkey dildo. With her cane.
Speaker 1:Wow. This just went real dark right now.
Speaker 5:Well, it went real it's this is the shittiest episode that we've done for It's pretty shitty.
Speaker 1:For sure.
Speaker 5:Just gonna
Speaker 1:So there was just Donkey Kong until Donkey Kong Country came out in the nineties.
Speaker 6:I believe Donkey Kong Country is the only other one I ever tried to play.
Speaker 5:Is that the one where you have to make meth? Donkey Kong Country?
Speaker 6:I don't think I got to that level. No.
Speaker 5:Or Kid Rock is in that where you, like, have to save Kid Rock maybe?
Speaker 6:I didn't get to that level.
Speaker 5:I don't I don't know where that is. Waylon Jennings.
Speaker 6:I believe there was like a
Speaker 1:Don't put Waylon Jennings in
Speaker 5:that. I love Waylon. Was there I
Speaker 6:know. Maybe a coal mine?
Speaker 1:There was because you had to
Speaker 7:ride around It was a fucking coal mine.
Speaker 1:Because you had to ride around in one of those Indiana Jones cars.
Speaker 6:Right. The car
Speaker 5:What the fuck?
Speaker 6:I and the only reason why I remember is because it's the only other video game I ever played. I don't think I ever tried to play I never played any shoot them up games or whatever they are. Or
Speaker 5:Space? No space I
Speaker 6:I played Duck Hunt.
Speaker 1:So you played three video games.
Speaker 5:Although, technically,
Speaker 6:videos. ColecoVision was my favorite. Super
Speaker 1:Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt were on the same cartridge for most of it.
Speaker 5:It came with the thing.
Speaker 6:You when you get tired and you want a break from Mario Brothers, you'd play Duck Hunt and be like, god, this game sucks.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Because you're shooting the most inaccurate gun on Earth.
Speaker 6:It was just well, I could beat my brother, and that's all that mattered.
Speaker 5:You could use that gun for other stuff, like make a bong out of it.
Speaker 6:Pegging?
Speaker 5:No. We so here is story.
Speaker 1:Here's a story behind this. I gotta get it.
Speaker 5:So here is a story about the old video game days in case anybody is, like, interested in that stuff. What what normally I would use, like, I had a, like, a computer. I was kind of a nerd with a computer, but after I got kind of bored of doing the computer and with the Nintendo or whatever, I would take it apart, and then we would just put our drugs in there. Why? To hide them from our mom.
Speaker 1:So did you use So we would have
Speaker 5:weed in there. We weren't like, we didn't really do cocaine, but like weed definitely in the computer. So you would just like lift the top of the computer off and the weed bag would be in there.
Speaker 1:Which seems interesting because with a fan and heat, it would you would think it would
Speaker 5:There's no fans. Like it was that computer.
Speaker 1:Oh, the super old computers like
Speaker 6:What what Jerry Pancake is pointing at right now is like a very old time
Speaker 5:It is that is an Atari 800 XL. It is screwed together though now because I just keep my drugs out in the open now. I could just I could just have them in a box, like, on on a shelf.
Speaker 6:Your mom's never coming to check.
Speaker 5:She definitely isn't. She will never come here. I don't think. If she's still alive, hopefully.
Speaker 8:My lead
Speaker 1:is in the space invaders cartridge.
Speaker 6:He put it in pitfall. Or wait, what was the other?
Speaker 5:I'm Pitfall was a yeah. You know
Speaker 7:what I mean? Jen Jen pancake has
Speaker 5:a lot of knowledge of video
Speaker 7:games, which I did not know.
Speaker 6:Ones because I'm old.
Speaker 1:I've actually got all the old ones. You ought to come over.
Speaker 6:Do you?
Speaker 1:Yeah. The next party we throw out. Frogger? Anything that was on Atari, I have. Anything on Nintendo.
Speaker 6:How do you just have it?
Speaker 5:No. There's a secret that's He's got some sort of emulator, his generation. Emulator? Fucking with everything and
Speaker 1:I love how Jerry's all mad that I like have all the fun stuff.
Speaker 5:I I am because I don't have it. Like, I don't get to have that. I didn't like Jackman.
Speaker 1:Cake if you get it.
Speaker 6:Or a miss pack, man.
Speaker 1:It's like a $100 and I can make it for you. What?
Speaker 5:Plug it into the TV, the big TV.
Speaker 1:Yeah. All you need is a HD monitor. I could
Speaker 5:probably do it with one of these 100 computers that I have I
Speaker 6:liked Qbert.
Speaker 1:Yeah. The orange dude with the dick on his face.
Speaker 6:Yeah. That guy.
Speaker 1:I didn't like that game. It was weird.
Speaker 6:I'm in Denny's.
Speaker 2:All you guys do is
Speaker 3:just sit up there and talk about how fucking cool you are.
Speaker 10:Miller Beach. This is your president. When I'm hanging out at Flamingos, I light a camel and put on the Miller morning madhouse with Jerry Pancake and Josh Scramble.
Speaker 6:Alright,
Speaker 5:folks. That's it for today's episode of the Miller morning madhouse. Big thanks to our sponsors, So Cool Shirts, where bad decisions become great fashion. Check them out for your next questionable t shirt. And don't forget all in just trivia with Josh scramble hosted at the Marshall j Gardner Center.
Speaker 5:It's the only trivia night where the questions are just as unpredictable as the answers. Join us if you dare. And a shout out to the Miller Community Theater, also at the Marshall j Gardner Center, where the local stars shine bright. Big thanks to the MBACD for hosting these awesome events and making Miller Beach the place to be. Thanks for hanging out with us at Miller Beach.
Speaker 5:We will be back next Sunday, hopefully, with a brand new episode. That is if we are not too hungover. No promises. But stay cool, stay crazy, and keep supporting the madhouse. That you
Speaker 7:to be good. I said I'm wondering just how you taste. She laughed and said, I know just where to begin. She said, I know you like breakfast food. I'm about to blow your mind.
Speaker 7:I have a sandwich that was made for your calf. It's the moons over my heavy. It's got cheese and egg. Spread it on sourdough as you taste the green. It's the moon's over my heaven.
Speaker 7:It's got cheese and eggs. Eat it it on sourdough as you taste the grease. It's the moon's over my hammy. It's got cheese and eggs. Eat it
Speaker 5:Bam's a bam. What's a bam? Well, you wouldn't even know.
Speaker 8:That was Do you understand the words that's coming out of my mouth? You speak it in English?
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